The Ultimate Body Language Book

defend himself. I think the answer is obvious. The context tells us exactly what is happening. The neck
hold, versus a scratch can be in response to making a mistake and trying to take it back as in “Whoops,
sorry, that was stupid of me and I won’t do it again.” The neck rub or hold can be seen when being
verbally assaulted by a boss, here what is said is “He’s a real pain in the neck.” Even my nine-monthold
son thinks I’m a pain in the neck when I won’t let him do something dangerous! Since he’s just
little he can’t reach all the way back, so his arm comes up and back at about ear level when I tell him
he can’t do something. If he just laughs, I know he hasn’t really taken me seriously. When that happens
I re-iterate my instruction making sure he gives me some sort of retrained gesture or given me eye
contact.
Chapter 10 - Attentive And Evaluative Body Language
Other Evaluative Gestures
To conclude this chapter, there are some other subtle gestures that tell us that someone is thinking or
evaluating a decision which includes stroking the side of the nose, flared nostrils, pinching the bridge
of the nose, looking upwards and looking around the room. These gestures all show us that a person is
trying to come up with the best course of action, or to come to a satisfactory decision. Some evaluative
gestures also have confusing meanings, for example, looking up might mean that someone is bored or
in disbelief – a form of evaluation. When looking up refers to disbelief the person is ‘sending a prayer
to God’ or saying “I can’t believe what I’m hearing”. Flared nostrils might also be an evaluative gesture
as well because it reveals an internal judgment but it can also indicate agitated or aggression. In the
same general ballpark, one might turn their nose sideways by twitching the muscles slightly revealing
dislike or disbelief. This last gesture likely has origins in avoiding a particularly bad odor.
These last clues should always be taken in context and be paired with other evaluative cues in clusters,
of which have been discussed in this chapter. Many times, evaluative body language shows reserved
disagreement, which gives us time to prepare a better case or prepare for a less desirable outcome, such
that we aren’t taken by surprise.
Some evaluative gestures:
Nose twitching.