The Ultimate Body Language Book

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may not include crow’s feet as we have seen. Those that lack smiles altogether or who smile infrequently are much more dominant and want to be seen as such. The grimace happens in situations where one is forced to talk or debate under a stressful situation. You will find that this sly face appears almost universally even though no pleasure is felt. The grimace is a disarming gesture meant to appease others, but it usually comes off as insincere and smug. We will see this face under high stress situations. To see this face authentically, pay close attention while watching courtroom television shows. Usually the defendant who is under stress will seem to beam with light from their teeth. The judge will often see him or her as being defiant, and often requests for them to remove their smug look whereas, in fact, no smugness is present at all. In this context a big smile is linked to stress from outside forces, and does not indicate either happiness or smugness. Regardless of the meaning of the specific smile, researchers have concluded that the smile is innate and not learned since even people born blind smile to display happiness. Chapter 6 - Smiles and Laughter Perpetuating The Smile: On Mirroring And Smiling Smiling is contagious and often just by holding a smile others feel compelled to smile as well. Try an experiment for yourself and see just how hard it is to frown when viewing smiles or smile when viewing frowning. You will see that mirroring is a much more natural response whereas holding opposite expressions requires conscious thought. Flashing a smile at random strangers can flood their bodies with positive hormones and brighten their day. Even just holding a smile despite feeling down can help elevate your mood and make you feel better. We see this exact same contagion with attitudes of those surrounding us. A famous skit on Saturday Night Live involves a character called “Debbie Downer.” The scene is set in a social gathering where the character, at each opportunity, offers a contrarian’s view to what is an otherwise a positive or neutral statement. The effect it has is potent and brings those around her down, hence her name. Persistent negative attitudes in others around us tend to drag down our moods, while optimistic attitudes tend to make us feel better. Although overly optimistic attitudes, just like overly pessimistic attitudes can lead to negative feelings about others as well. Research has shown that our facial muscles tend to mirror what we see in others and that this reaction is subconscious. While it is possible to control our facial muscles by consciously over-ridding this tendency, most others will simply, by nature, imitate what they see in us. This is why it is so important to, both imitate smiles when seen, and to also avoid holding sour faces especially on initial meetings. Let’s take the stereotypical example of a married couple; a wife and husband. After a long days work taking care of the children, the husband comes home from his long day with a scowl on his face and plops himself on the couch. He’s had a bad day, and so too has she. Their expressions feed of one another and their attitudes remains negative. What if the husband came home with good news and a big smile? Naturally, his wife would follow and they’d share a nice welcome, both parties willing. If one or the other fails to follow the lead, the entire mood would be soured by the frowning party. Both parties are therefore responsible for deciding the mood. We often get caught up in daily rituals, especially at home, that we forget to put on a fake smile which is otherwise required at work. We know that we can’t get away with such crass behaviour while away from home and around strangers, so we put on a fake smile despite our mood, but once home we give
our faces a break. We know instinctively that we can’t get away with a sour face in public because others will think poorly of us and won’t want to be around us. The freedom to express moods naturally in our own homes can be a blessing, but can also be a drag. Sometimes taking the extra effort can be rewarded so it’s worth a try, especially if the mood has been sour perpetually. So the advice follows that when people around you are in a bad mood, even at home, initiate the smile, hold it persistently and see what happens! Chapter 6 - Smiles and Laughter The Most Common Types Of Smiles The following is a comprehensive list, with accompanying description, outlining the various smiles you might encounter. ___________________________________________________________________________________ ___________ The tight lipped smile with low intensity. ONE. The tight lipped smile with low intensity. This smile happens as the lips are stretched across the face and no teeth are showing. The tight lipped smile can vary with intensity as well, and it is directly related to the amount the lips are raise in the corners of the mouth. The low intensity smile has very little upward curl in the corner of the mouth and indicates a hidden attitude or thought, uncertainty, hesitation or lack of confidence. In this smile the lips are stretched toward the ears with no curl using muscles called the risorius. The risorius muscles are unable to raise the corner of the lips. Small babies have been shown to use this smile for all others except their mothers whom they reserve the use of the true smile. This smile is used to placate others or to pose for photographs when we aren’t in the mood. Strangers passing on the street might also use this shallow smile as a form of greeting or acknowledgement. The smile is a feigned or dishonest smile so that others don’t catch on that we actually don’t like them. It might also appear out of nervousness or stressed, so it can appear when meeting new people. For this reason we can call the tight lipped smile the “polite smile.” When the tight lipped smile with low intensity happens in conversation in can serve to negate the previous statement. For example, a man might say about his boss “He’s a great boss, I’d switch companies and follow him anywhere if he left.” and this might be followed by a tight lipped smile serving to negate the comment. ___________________________________________________________________________________ ___________ TWO. Tight lipped smile with high intensity. This is a variation on the smile above, yet the corners of the lips rise even further with some teeth showing. The lips are slightly separated, the corners of the mouth are upturned, gaze is steady and warm and the posture is relaxed. We find this smile appearing
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Chapter 1 - Why The Study Of Body L
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Looking Askance And Eye Rolling Ste
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The Stiff Or Curved Arm Objects As
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The Male Crotch Display Eliminating
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How To Accurately Read Lies Comfort
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Head down with hand to mouth is a
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publish it through the www.BodyLang
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Itchy nose or does this mean someth
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and then relate the body language s
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people’s natural desires to pleas
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mind and create positive or negativ
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to the world around us, and the sti
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pulled across the mouth, but the mu
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after years apart, or when someone
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these class of neurons might be rel
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keep the conversation going. They
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Subconscious facial expressions can
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arricades to block ourselves from v
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Chapter 2 - The Basics Of Understan
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accurately judge a person. The rule
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We regularly place more importance
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statements that are taken out of co
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on the spot, and in real time. Chap
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idiosyncrasy. Does this mean that e
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to be compare to a baseline as they
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such as postures and signals or in
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than simple observation. While Wats
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Millions of years ago, we gave up q
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fact there is a class of body langu
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speak, by observation and practice.
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Body language makes the intent of a
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We rarely catch women checking men
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Asymmetrical posture shows a lack o
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4. Keep your midsection tight to as
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kissing, back slapping, high fives,
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that create relief. Someone that is
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exercise except in this case the en
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especially as the evening progresse
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when people suffer from illness per
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Much debate has been raised about t
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present, the Japanese more than the
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Chapter 3 - Cultural Differences Em
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This “a-okay” gesture means goo
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Chapter 3 - Cultural Differences Il
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Chapter 3 - Cultural Differences Af
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Chapter 3 - Cultural Differences Re
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Chapter 3 - Cultural Differences Ad
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characteristics. It is general in n
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of the speech during conversation.
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Chapter 3 - Cultural Differences Cu
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Disgust.
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into facial emotion recognition and
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ecome more uniform, so too does the
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The handshake is quickly becoming t
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Chapter 4 - Space and Territory Int
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Chapter 4 - Space and Territory Pro
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An arm is extended to indicate that
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Personal Space Distances 1. Intimat
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wave of the hand in the country is
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This is a comfortable body ready fo
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Chapter 4 - Space and Territory Spa
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e it to respect it by reading their
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overtly show that they are being in
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Page 147 and 148: Chapter 5 - Seeing Eye To Eye - A L
Page 153 and 154: stance causing them to drop their a
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Page 157 and 158: females. The men in the study were
Page 159 and 160: preparation for action so we won’
Page 161 and 162: A second related nonverbal behavior
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Page 165 and 166: This interest posture is hard to mi
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Page 179 and 180: words), kinesthetic (touch) and vis
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Page 187 and 188: Chapter 6 - Smiles and Laughter The
Page 189 and 190: The uneven smile. This one is a fak
Page 191 and 192: Liars also find it difficult to smi
Page 193 and 194: Research on smiles has been a hot t
Page 195: Chimpanzees, like humans have two c
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Page 201 and 202: egardless of their emotional state.
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Page 205 and 206: Chapter 6 - Smiles and Laughter Is
Page 207 and 208: fun of a sprinter for being slow, i
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Page 211 and 212: determine the thoughts, feelings an
Page 213 and 214: obstruction from any limbs or objec
Page 215 and 216: His ventral display says that he’
Page 217 and 218: Chapter 7 - Opened Mind Opened Body
Page 219 and 220: Wrists displays shows comfort. I th
Page 221 and 222: Pockets make great hand-hiding plac
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Page 225 and 226: something. Rubbing the hands togeth
Page 227 and 228: The “politicians gesture” comes
Page 229 and 230: The “offerer” wants to give you
Page 231 and 232: Any time a part of the body crosses
Page 233 and 234: An abbreviated arm cross where the
Page 235 and 236: The coffee cup barrier - even drink
Page 237 and 238: Cutting off ventral access is a clo
Page 239 and 240: Good things are not on the horizon.
Page 241 and 242: up it would be worthwhile to contin
Page 243 and 244: The legs therefore, are a great ind
Page 245 and 246: Women with legs open are often seen
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their legs as a dominance display a
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seated or standing. While seated th
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palm down, as if to dry them, and y
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disagreement at every turn. The fig
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posture occurs by placing one or bo
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Chapter 7 - Opened Mind Opened Body
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we are already committed, our feet
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_______ Feet together - attentive.
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If one person fails to open up, usu
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In this chapter we will cover an en
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There are cues that can eliminate,
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includes submissive gestures so som
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een noted that taller men are signi
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This cop knows his game. By keeping
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Chapter 8 - Dominant and Submissive
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verbal language. Let’s take anoth
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at all since all you stand to lose
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we saw before, the figure-four-leg
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might foster mirroring where they m
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the body take up more space and hen
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very pronounced compared to many ot
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downwards towards the crotch. Popul
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A challenge to fight - the chin pop
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superiority and royalty has made th
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space, leaning on their cars, putti
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onds. Dominant people figure that w
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Further research shows that justifi
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oth be made more healthy just by sh
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can link them in our minds, yet kee
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Hugging one’s self is a defensive
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elbow in the hand while that arm is
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Arm gripping is a sign that someone
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eadiness to attack. It can also be
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A purse can be used as a shield to
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higher than a few inches, or the ha
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The chair is a prop used to shield
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conditions, so we might benefit fro
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Chapter 9 -Defensive And Aggressive
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Fists clenching is an early sign of
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Nose flaring or “nasal wing dilat
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This isn’t going well - she looks
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Chapter 10 - Attentive And Evaluati
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A slouched appearance is a clear me
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cartoons. The cliché says that the
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is disliked. However, there is anot
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the glasses signifies deep thought.
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form a bridge. In this posture fing
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interlocked hands as if praying but
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one’s self back” as one might d
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Pinching the bridge of the nose. Ch
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emotions we talk about what motivat
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Burying yourself in a book or liste
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smoothing clothing, rotating a wedd
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The fight or flight response is a b
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Chapter 11 - Emotional Body Languag
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Extreme anxiety causes the desire t
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Clenching and gripping can have man
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A hand-to-mouth gesture used to pla
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Tugging at the ears helps distract
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is also in effort to self sooth. Wi
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indicate confrontation due to anger
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as the fingers stroke the inside of
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need to mouth it, and yet it, so as
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When the mouth becomes inverted in
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Pushing the tongue through compress
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Sneering often happens as a microex
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The ear grab refers to a subconscio
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Itchy nose or does this mean someth
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aggressive with their gestures and
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These legs are interested - note ho
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where the toe is facing down, but t
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useful skill in reading people. Bei
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Happiness. Happiness (smile): The g
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__________ Ever thought about why o
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would identify the policemen as par
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mimicry of postures, mannerisms, fa
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[D] Keeping the legs uncrossed. [E]
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an imagined negotiation scenario wh
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loose situation where one person wi
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dialect, speech rate or tempo, pitc
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Chapter 12 - Mirroring And Building
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undetected lest it cause irreversib
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although it can be helpful to women
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Some men are naturals - the rest of
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‘Accidental touching’ is a subt
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Chapter 13 - Courtship Signals The
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Chapter 13 - Courtship Signals She
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The “hands on hips” or hands
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Chapter 13 - Courtship Signals Tibi
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The Forehead Bow, Smiling And Child
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Tickling and other play related act
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Shoulder shrugs make the outline of
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parts aren’t inherently sexy on t
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Hair tossing is done by women to sh
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also tend to carry low hip-to-waist
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Chapter 13 - Courtship Signals Groo
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Chapter 13 - Courtship Signals The
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Chapter 13 - Courtship Signals Hiki
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correlate it back to their fertilit
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good signal of attraction. Sometime
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Chapter 13 - Courtship Signals Echo
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Chapter 13 - Courtship Signals Kiss
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dropper here and there with regards
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If this sort of tactic makes you un
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Women prefer men with square jaws a
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features and “dance” for them.
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There are a few postures that men u
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effectively to attract his attentio
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Chapter 13 - Courtship Signals Domi
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the same position for too long. Rat
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Chapter 13 - Courtship Signals Tona
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Even stone faced women can be broke
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the mating dance, men can see these
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Hand touches shoulder. This form of
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Chapter 13 - Courtship Signals Summ
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customer and should be respected. T
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expect it. Anyone lower in the food
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they are doing when they shake hand
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normal. Three pumps is recommended
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Chapter 14 - Office Body Language H
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Chapter 14 - Office Body Language L
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Chapter 14 - Office Body Language H
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Chapter 14 - Office Body Language W
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Chapter 14 - Office Body Language R
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sit because, and what affect seatin
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Boardrooms present an interesting p
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Chapter 15 - Seating Arrangements C
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are already a part of your team and
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ooks, papers and other belongings t
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Chapter 15 - Seating Arrangements S
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Chapter 15 - Seating Arrangements S
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Chapter 15 - Seating Arrangements C
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was the trickle down effect where t
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Chapter 15 - Seating Arrangements O
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A low rank desk arrangement because
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alance between looking out the wind
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He’s already a bit taller than me
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eceiving a D or F from twenty-three
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Touching the nose has long been use
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question “Does this dress make me
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Chapter 16 - Deception and Lie Dete
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while lying was taking place. For e
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create facts instead of simply reca
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One of the most reported cues of de
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To avoid detection, under the ‘fr
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catcher braced and ducked with his
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ecognition software that reads all
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__________ False smile: Where the e
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Such devices are new and their effe
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denial statements such as nodding
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level of guilt. 4. If possible have
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info. This is public info after the
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Evolution and Human Behavior. 27(1)
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Communication Research. 13 (3): 345
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21(4): 1-10. Frank M.G. and Ekman P
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Hecht, M.A. and LaFrance, M. 1988.
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Knackstedt, G., & Kleinke, C. L. (1
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exploring the accuracy of visitor a
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Peluchette, J. V., K. Karl, and K.
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Sommer, R. 1967. Socifugal space. A
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nonverbal behavior. 21: 87-102. Vri
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