The Ultimate Body Language Book

as the fingers stroke the inside of the other indicate a person who is in doubt, has low confidence, or is
experiencing stress. As tension escalates the gesture will move from palm stroking into more rigorous
interlaced finger stroking making the two a progression of intensity. Thus while palm stroking is due to
mild doubt or slight confidence issues, interlaced fingers that rub up and down is to do a higher level of
anxiety.
Both gestures are excellent examples of pacifying behaviours meant to sooth underlying emotional
discomfort. As conversations intensify watch for increases in soothing body language revealing the
underlying anxiety.
Chapter 11 - Emotional Body Language
Suckling And Mouthing Body Language
Hand to mouth gestures comes off as dishonest – as if we have something to hide.
The mouth and lips are full of nerve endings which, when stimulated, provides tactile gratification and
comfort. However, anytime the fingers go to the mouth or play with the side of the mouth or lip, it’s a
retrogressive action since the gesture is an attempt to regain the security they had as an infant suckling
and mouthing. Nail biting is also a form of emotional body language, and when present, is usually
habitual because of its origins. The habit which is highly unsightly screams “I am insecure” so should
be eliminated from a person’s repertoire. These types of gestures are called “pacifying behaviours”
because they are designed to reduce anxiety when exposed to something distressing. Pacifying
language tells us the mind is not at ease and is an attempt to restore the body’ natural state. The ears,
neck and nose are also areas people will hit when their minds require pacifying and they are covered
next. Pacifying can also sometimes give up liars because they can be tied or linked to specific words
uttered that then in turn require the body to be stroked to create comfort. Pacifying has everything to do
with releasing bad tension as a substitute to the hand of a comforting mother.