The Ultimate Body Language Book

Chapter 14 - Office Body Language
Handshake Conclusion
It’s obvious to most that the extremities of the handshakers are most undesirable with the middle
ground making the best impressions. Most people would have experienced at least five of the ten types
of handshakes listed here, hopefully being spared of the most traumatic, that is, the ones that cause pain
such as the bone crusher or death grip. The worse I’ve ever endured was a combination of a short
grabber combined with a bone crusher. Whenever I meet this person I tried to trust forward to get as
much finger into this persons hand as possible or try to avoid the handshake altogether! Women also
seem to be particularly prone to thrusting just their fingers forward and in turn receive an
unwelcomingly firm handshake by a clutch of fingers and palms wrapped around their little fingers.
They’d be best served to keep their fingers together and thrust the whole lot forward instead of just the
tips.
Ingredients of a good handshake includes raising your hand when about three feet away from the other
person, keeping your hand vertical with the thumb pointing upwards, making a firm grip of the other
person’s hand, shaking web-to-web rather then finger to web, maintain eye contact and shaking for a
maximum of three times then letting go. A firm handshake gives the impression of quiet confidence and
says that “I’m happy to meet you” yet portrays a person as having a no “non-sense” attitude. As the
other person releases their grip pressure be sure to let go of their hand rather than holding on for longer
than necessary. Holding the hand at the completion of the handshake can convey added emphasis and
intimacy, but it is also risky. This is especially important in business where first impressions can often
set the tone for the entire relationship. Fortunately handshakes are learned behaviours and not inherent
making it easily corrected when the proper formula is adopted.
Chapter 14 - Office Body Language
Power Sitting For Women – What To Do, What
To Avoid
Women in the workplace are always walking a thin line between their sexuality and authority. Women
all know that their looks can be used to manipulate others around them, especially men, however
physical attractiveness in the workplace has been repeatedly shown to lead others to dismiss women’s
thoughts. However, one way women can combat this and still maintain their sexuality is as follows: sit
with legs crossed leg over knee and have the high heel pointed horizontally at someone they wish to
intimidate. Most dominant cues that work for men, such as the full body steeple, are ineffective when
used by women. However, the heel is something men don’t have so it doesn’t come across as being a
typically dominant male gesture. The heel acts like a dagger against its prey and neutralizes it. The
posture shows assertiveness and that she is willing and able to emasculate men.
One sitting position women should particularly avoid is sitting with arms up and behind the head in the
full steeple position as mentioned. This posture has the effect of putting the breasts on full display
which counteracts any dominant aspects it might otherwise impart. Even having the legs crossed in the
figure four looks odd when performed by women. A crotch display is not effective for women as it is
for men, so it should be eliminated altogether. Hand steepling is another gender neutral dominance
stance and can be used with effectiveness. Women want to pick up cues that suite their overall