The Ultimate Body Language Book

onds. Dominant people figure that whatever socialization is will find them so they won’t go looking
for it. Obviously, in business and in life certain characteristics held by dominant people are important,
but extremities in any facet is nearly always counterproductive. Showing confidence by holding eye
contact is important, but maintaining too much eye contact such as what an extremely dominant person
might do, such that it sends shivers down the spine, sends the reverse message. It can negate the
existence of others as people, turning them into objects, and seem to cut through them.
Ways of responding to dominance is by using more open body language to disarm them. Cutting
through their rigidity with jokes and light hearted humour is another great way to put them into a good
mood and break their serious attitude. When trying to break dominant people it is important to avoid
submitting from the start, instead try to build an equal footing to foster their respect. You can try to outstare
them by looking at the bridge of their nose instead of their eyes, which can really unsettle them.
However, fighting fire with fire in this manner is risky, at best, and requires one to put on a possibly
uncomfortable show. The safest alternative is to just ignore their negativity and play yourself up as
even more friendly trying to find common interests to help build rapport.
Breaking down touch barriers can also help, but again, this is risky. Touching breaks shields down and
the most dominant of people will be taken aback unless the touching is warranted and tactfully
executed. When you touch a dog, be prepared for the bark!
Chapter 8 – Dominant and Submissive Gestures
Touching Between And Amongst The Sexes
Touching influences how we feel about people.
Studies show that touching between men, especially in the workplace, is usually related to power plays
and social jostling. An employer will place his hand on the shoulder or back of an employee to reaffirm
his status while offering encouragement. Such displays are inappropriate in reverse and wouldn’t
usually be tolerated. If touching is well received though, it indicates that strong rapport is being built
between the ranks and a promotion might be forthcoming. Men can use touch, as a means to raise their