Uncle Andy's Digest December 2021

More documents

Recommendations

Info

Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with12Sweet BabyJesusSubmitted by JimboThe pastor of thechurch was lookingover the cradle in thechurch’s nativity scenewhen he noticed thatthe baby Jesus wasmissing from amongthe figures.Immediately he turnedand went outside andsaw a little boy with ared wagon. In the wagonwas the figure ofthe little infant, Jesus.So he walked up to theboy and said, “Well,where did you get him,my fine friend?”The little boy replied,“I got him from thechurch.”“And why did you takehim?”The boy said, “Well,about a week beforeChristmas I prayed tothe little Lord Jesusand I told him if hewould bring me a redwagon for ChristmasI would give him aride around the blockin it.”StreetcretIngredientThe weatherman describesthis as unseasonableweather.Of course its unseasoned-- that’s why thecity maintenance crewput salt on it.JimboDec. 2021 783-7039Santaprefers RoebucksAngus!Everybody likes Frosty the Snowman because he is so cool.JAY 207.754.1558 • SUE 207.754.6558783 UPPER ST. • TURNERSunday-closed; Mon-Fri 12-5:30pm; Sat 9am-4pmFrom our familyto yours...Merry Christmas &Happy New Year!Welcome to the SAUSAGE KITCHENOld Fashioned, Premium Quality Meat Products Made in MainevvvFrom our table to yours, The Sausage Kitchen Wishes Everyonea safe and Happy Holiday Season!v Ask about our Sausage of theMonth Club & Holiday FoodPlattersv Select Gift Bundles availablev Extended December hours,please check FacebookTell us you saw us in Uncle Andy’s Digest!ROEBUCKS ANGUSGiftCertificatesmake greatstockingstuffers!36 Main St, Lisbon Falls | 207-353-5503 | thesausagekitchen.comA broken drum makes a great Christmas gift. You can’t beat it!ASK ABOUT OUR MEATPACKAGES & PLACE YOURHOLIDAY ORDERSINSPECTED• REGISTERED ANGUS• NATURAL ANGUS BEEF• MEAT PACKAGES
My neighbor came over last night with her dinner in her hands. With Facebookand Instagram being down she wanted me to see what she was having.MONDAYHam ItaliansSm $2.29 Lg. $3.99WEDNESDAYChicken SaladSm $2.99 Lg. $4.99FRIDAYTuna ItalianSm $2.99 Lg. $4.99SUNDAY$2.00 OFFAny large pizzaMAIN STREET MARKET2 Main Street, Sabattus • 207-375-8502MerryChristmas &Happy NewYear!Hours: 6am - 8pm • Seven days a weekWe are not crazy! We are awake in an insane world!Great Rates, Great ServiceAuto or ATV Loans • No Score Loans • Call us Today!Great FallsFederal Credit UnionHOME OF THE ONE HOUR LOAN!Call for an appointmentTUESDAYSmall 1-topping Pizza10" pizza $4.99THURSDAYBowl of Chili$4.49SATURDAYBaked BeansPint $3.99 Quart $4.99Full beans ’n franks meal $9.49We accept cash, checks,major credit/debit cards, & EBT34 Bates St, Lewiston • 782-7192 | 760 Minot Ave., Auburn • 753-0500www.GreatFallsfcu.comB.L.T.Sm. $2.99Lg. $4.99Breakfast Sandwiches $2.29Hash browns 2/$1.59Coffee all sizes $0.99“Christmas is most truly Christmas when we celebrate it by giving the light of loveto those who need it most.” – Ruth Carter StapletonSecondTime?Submitted by JimboA mother took herdaughter to the doctorand asked him to giveher an examination todetermine the causeof the daughter’s veryswollen abdomen.It only took the doctorabout 2 seconds tosay, “Gimme a break,lady! Your daughter ispregnant!”The mother turn redwith fury, and sheargued with the doctorthat *her* daughterwas a good girl, andwould *never* compromiseher reputation byhaving sex with a boy.The doctor faced thewindow and silentlywatched the horizon.The mother becameenraged andscreamed, “Quitlooking out the window!Aren’t you payingattention to me?”“Yes, of course I ampaying attention,ma’am. It’s just thatthe last time thishappened, a starappeared in the east,and three wise mencame. I was hopingthey’d show up again,and help me figure outwho got your daughterpregnant!”Uncle Andy’s DigestDec. 2021 UncleAndys.com...withJimbo13
Page 1 and 2: UNCLEANDY’SGET REAL. GET HYUNDAI.
Page 3 and 4: The pharmacist asked for my birthda
Page 5 and 6: Remember, children. The best way to
Page 7 and 8: I would never mess with Santa Claus
Page 9 and 10: HAS IT ALLOrder Your Holiday Platte
Page 11: From our family to yours,Let us cat
Page 15 and 16: My wife wanted to go on a trip to s
Page 17 and 18: STRESSED is just DESSERTS spelled b
Page 19 and 20: CAREER OPPORTUNITIESSantaalways get
Page 21 and 22: How do you make Holy Water? You boi
Page 23 and 24: There’s nothing like the joy on a
Page 25 and 26: S ARE IN!Annual Best Businesses for
Page 27 and 28: You know that mouth-watering sensat
Page 29 and 30: Wish KidSawyer(aka Sonic Spider Boy
Page 31 and 32: You know it’s going to be a bad d
Page 33 and 34: I would grow my own food, but I can
Page 35 and 36: Thinking is the last thing on my mi
Page 37 and 38: CALL THE PROSBook Your Appointment
Page 39 and 40: You know it’s going to be a bad d
Page 41 and 42: Suburbia: Where they tear out the t
Page 43 and 44: This is that exciting time of the y
Page 45 and 46: I left Santa gluten-free cookies an
Page 47 and 48: R O O P E R S B E V E R A G E . C O

Uncle Andy's Digest December 2021

Create successful ePaper yourself

Delete template?

Save as template?