Uncle Andy's Digest December 2021

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GivingThanksSubmitted by JimboLee, a seven-year-oldboy, was asked to saythanks for the Christmasdinner. The familymembers bowed theirheads in expectation.Lee began his prayer,thanking God forhis Mommy, Daddy,brothers, sister,grandmother, and allhis aunts and uncles.Then he began tothank God for the food.He gave thanks for theturkey, the stuffing, theChristmas pudding,even the cranberrysauce.Then Lee paused, andeveryone waited andwaited and waited.They waited for whatseemed like aneternity.When I’m on my death bed, I want my last words to be,“There’s a million dollars under….”Eligible for Medicare?CALL US TODAYto see which Medicare health plan best fits your needs.30+Years ofExperience!Visit us at 184 Webster Street, LewistonNo matter what happens, there’s always someone who knew it would.Out ‘n About at the Sausage Kitchen in Lisbon FallsIf you playtug-of-war witha string of sausages,you’ll end up withpulled pork.After a long silence,the young fellowlooked up at hismother and asked, “If Ithank God for the brusselssprouts, won’t heknow that I’m lying?”Hi, myname isTobyFor Sale: Barely used DeLorean, only driven from time to time.See their adon page 12.Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with22EST.1950Appointmentsand walk-inswelcome!JimboDec. 2021 783-7039783-3444OPEN:Tues-Fri7:30a-5:30pSat 7:30a-2pBooth Rentals AvailableMarcel’s getsa big thumbs upfrom us!54 Mill StreetNew AuburnGabe & BellaShuga Shak Country StoreHoliday BasketsAvailable!Ask about ourcustom basketsOpen Thurs.-Sun. 10a-5pWine • Local ProductsHoney • Pickles • JamsCandies • Crafts...and much more!Maple Baked Beansevery Saturday!450 Pigeon Hill Road(Rte 26), Mechanic Falls207-576-7886I’m sure I wasn’t put on this earth for any particular reason but I’m sure convincedthat I’ll be taken off for one!
There’s nothing like the joy on a kid’s face when he first sees the PlayStation boxcontaining the socks I got him for Christmas.The Fortin GroupProudly serving the communities ofLewiston and Auburn for over 100 years.Out ‘n About atAmerican Legion Post153 in New Auburnfor their Halloween partyHow youdoin’?The cost of living keeps going up.The cost of your funeral doesn’t have to.Pre-plan now and your cost will be locked in.AUBURN217 Turner Street207-783-8545LEWISTON70 Horton Street207-784-4584Amy St. HilaireBartenderWhat I hate about retirement is you never get a vacation.Ryan HoppingBartenderI accidentally used the dog wash for shampoo, now I feel like a – GOOD Boy... GOODBoy.We neverwanna miss aparty!Bill Lagasse &Gina MallozziUncle Andy’s DigestDec. 2021 UncleAndys.com...withJimbo23
Page 1 and 2: UNCLEANDY’SGET REAL. GET HYUNDAI.
Page 3 and 4: The pharmacist asked for my birthda
Page 5 and 6: Remember, children. The best way to
Page 7 and 8: I would never mess with Santa Claus
Page 9 and 10: HAS IT ALLOrder Your Holiday Platte
Page 11 and 12: From our family to yours,Let us cat
Page 13 and 14: My neighbor came over last night wi
Page 15 and 16: My wife wanted to go on a trip to s
Page 17 and 18: STRESSED is just DESSERTS spelled b
Page 19 and 20: CAREER OPPORTUNITIESSantaalways get
Page 21: How do you make Holy Water? You boi
Page 25 and 26: S ARE IN!Annual Best Businesses for
Page 27 and 28: You know that mouth-watering sensat
Page 29 and 30: Wish KidSawyer(aka Sonic Spider Boy
Page 31 and 32: You know it’s going to be a bad d
Page 33 and 34: I would grow my own food, but I can
Page 35 and 36: Thinking is the last thing on my mi
Page 37 and 38: CALL THE PROSBook Your Appointment
Page 39 and 40: You know it’s going to be a bad d
Page 41 and 42: Suburbia: Where they tear out the t
Page 43 and 44: This is that exciting time of the y
Page 45 and 46: I left Santa gluten-free cookies an
Page 47 and 48: R O O P E R S B E V E R A G E . C O

Uncle Andy's Digest December 2021

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