Uncle Andy's Digest December 2021

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Six BrazilianMenSubmitted by Tyla DavisNewscast: “In othernews, 6 Brazilian mendie in a sky divingaccident.”Jimbo gasps incredulously:“Oh, oh it’shorrible!”Jimbo’s friend Steve:“Yeah. It is sad. Butyou know what? Theywere skydiving andthere’s always that riskinvolved.”Jimbo, holding backtears: “It just seemslike so many! ... Howmany is a Brazilian?”Make yourself at home! Clean my kitchen.GREAT DEALS EVERY DAY!PA’S TRADIN’COMPANY Inc.BUY • SELL • TRADEPAWNFederal Licensed Firearms Dealer1447 Main Street, OxfordOnly 25 Minutes fromAuburn & GrayOpen Mon-Sat. 9am - 5pm207-743-0709 or1-877-743-0709• VIDEOS, GAMES• TOOLS• FISHING SUPPLIES• FURNITURE• TARPS• ICE FISHING GEAR &SUPPLIES• & MUCH MORE!BUYING GUNS!Gun BackgroundChecks/TransfersFire Arms Transfers $ 25/eachAlways Pawning & Selling • Inventory Changes Daily!If I want to hear the pitter-patter of little feet, I’ll put shoes on my cat.OFFERINGResidentialCommercialClean OutsRoll Offs844-ME-TRASH844-638-7274The only thing we don’t throw away is our customer service!SERVINGOxford Hills • Lewiston/Auburn• McFalls/Minot/PolandBridgton/Denmark • Raymond/Naples9 Marston St. Norway, Ste.3 • TiceWasteManagement.comF ind Y ourselfin places no one else canMerry Christmas &Happy New Year!CALL OF THE WILDRV CENTER848 Main Street, Oxford207-539-4410www.callofthewildrv.comFour LetterWordsSubmitted by Steve SimardSteve’s wife askedwhy he was so upset.Steve Says, “They areusing four letter wordson the news.”She says, “Like what?”Steve replies, “SNOW,COLD, WIND, RAIN!Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with34JimboDec. 2021 783-7039OXFORD HILLS FAVORITEPIZZA & SANDWICH SHOP!Deli Sandwiches • Fresh Dough PizzasBreakfast Sandwiches and More!CALL AHEAD FOR ORDERS!POLLY’S VARIETY115 King Street, OxfordVoted one ofMaine’s BestPizza Places!2016 WMTWFacebook Fan pollDecember SpecialCUBANIncludes: Cuban Pork, Ham, SwissCheese, Mustard & Pickles on a rollONLY $6 .99Expires 12/31/21207-539-8254 • www.pollysvariety.comMonday - Tuesday: 5:30am - 7:00pm • Wednesday - Saturday: 5:30am - 8:00pm • Sunday: 6:00am - 7:00pmI have become more optimistic and now believe that things could get worse.
Thinking is the last thing on my mind!SERVING OURCOMMUNITY FOROVER 28 YEARSINSURANCE ANDFINANCIAL SERVICESAna BourasseauFinancial ProfessionalThe Prudential InsuranceCompany of America620 Washington St NAuburn, ME 04210(207) 795-7707ana.bourasseau@prudential.comInsurance Issued byThe Prudential Insurance Company of America, Newark, NJ and its affiliates.PAM-31210/2023James Jackson IV, CLU, ChFCFinancial ProfessionalThe Prudential InsuranceCompany of America620 Washington St NAuburn, ME 04210(207) 795-7707Jim.jackson@prudential.comOut ‘n About at Side by EachLast year’s holiday weight, meet this year’sholiday weight.Call us for a quoteTODAY!HATSMUGSBasketball,Hockey, SkiingOrder yourschool spiritwear today!Employee giftideas, specialtyitems, & more!QualityProductsReasonablePricingPENSBAGSAuburn Mayor Jason Levesque& Adam Leetalk a little shop over a pint at Side by EachBrewing in Auburn. The City of Auburn has a lot ofgreat projects going on and there’s so much to beproud of here in our community.205 Washington St.South, Auburn207-784-4184coastaltshirts.comMerry Christmas & Happy New Year!Obviously Uncle Andy’s Digest came up in theirconversation. So Jimbo feels confident that Jasonmust have mentioned fulfilling his campaignpromise about finally getting Grove Street paved.(Okay, maybe it wasn’t a campaign promise, but it shouldhave been!)You can turn an ordinary sofa into a sofa bed simply by forgetting your wife’s birthday.Uncle Andy’s DigestDec. 2021 UncleAndys.com...withJimbo35
Page 1 and 2: UNCLEANDY’SGET REAL. GET HYUNDAI.
Page 3 and 4: The pharmacist asked for my birthda
Page 5 and 6: Remember, children. The best way to
Page 7 and 8: I would never mess with Santa Claus
Page 9 and 10: HAS IT ALLOrder Your Holiday Platte
Page 11 and 12: From our family to yours,Let us cat
Page 13 and 14: My neighbor came over last night wi
Page 15 and 16: My wife wanted to go on a trip to s
Page 17 and 18: STRESSED is just DESSERTS spelled b
Page 19 and 20: CAREER OPPORTUNITIESSantaalways get
Page 21 and 22: How do you make Holy Water? You boi
Page 23 and 24: There’s nothing like the joy on a
Page 25 and 26: S ARE IN!Annual Best Businesses for
Page 27 and 28: You know that mouth-watering sensat
Page 29 and 30: Wish KidSawyer(aka Sonic Spider Boy
Page 31 and 32: You know it’s going to be a bad d
Page 33: I would grow my own food, but I can
Page 37 and 38: CALL THE PROSBook Your Appointment
Page 39 and 40: You know it’s going to be a bad d
Page 41 and 42: Suburbia: Where they tear out the t
Page 43 and 44: This is that exciting time of the y
Page 45 and 46: I left Santa gluten-free cookies an
Page 47 and 48: R O O P E R S B E V E R A G E . C O

Uncle Andy's Digest December 2021

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