Uncle Andy's Digest December 2021

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2Childhood: I WANT IT TO BE CHRISTMAS EVERY DAY.Adulthood: It’s December 8th. The Christmas music is relentless. I will confess to anything.EDUCATIONTrain online to do medical billing! Become a Medical Office Professionalat CTI! Get trained & certified to work in months! 888-572-6790. TheMission, Program Information and Tuition is located at CareerTechnical.edu/consumer-information. (M-F 8-6 ET)HEALTH & FITNESSVIAGRA and CIALIS USERS! 50 Generic Pills SPECIAL $99.00 FREEShipping! 100% guaranteed. 24/7 CALL NOW! 888-445-5928 HablamosEspañolDental insurance - Physicians Mutual Insurance Company. Covers 350procedures. Real insurance - not a discount plan. Get your free dentalinfo kit! 1-888-623-3036 www.dental50plus.com/58 #6258Attention oxygen therapy users! Inogen One G4 is capable of full 24/7oxygen delivery. Only 2.8 pounds. Free info kit. Call 877-929-9587Stroke & Cardiovascular disease are leading causes of death accordingto the AHA. 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Toll free numbers may or may not reach Canada.Prepare for unexpectedpower outages with aGenerac home standbygeneratorREQUEST A FREE QUOTE!866-643-0438FREE7-Year Extended Warranty*A $695 Value!Limited Time Offer - Call for DetailsSpecial Financing AvailableSubject to Credit Approval*To qualify, consumers must request a quote, purchase,install and activate the generator with a participating dealer.Call for a full list of terms and conditions.FINANCING THAT FITS YOUR BUDGET! 1Promo Code: 2851 Subject to credit approval. Call for details.BACKED BY A YEAR-ROUNDCLOG-FREE GUARANTEETHE NATION’SG U T T E R1CALL US TODAY FORA FREE ESTIMATEG U A R DEXCLUSIVE LIMITED TIME OFFER!15 %OFF &YOUR ENTIRESENIORS &PURCHASE *MILITARY!10+ 5% OFFTO THE FIRST 50CALLERS ONLY! **1-855-595-2102Mon-Thurs: 8am-11pm, Fri-Sat: 8am-5pm, Sun: 2pm-8pm ESTLIFETIMEWARRANTY%OFFWE INSTALLYEAR-ROUND!*For those who qualify. One coupon per household. No obligation estimate valid for 1 year. **Offer valid at time of estimate only 2 The leading consumer reportingagency conducted a 16 month outdoor test of gutter guards in 2010 and recognized LeafFilter as the “#1 rated professionally installed gutter guard systemin America.” Manufactured in Plainwell, Michigan and processed at LMT Mercer Group in Ohio. See Representative for full warranty details. CSLB# 1035795DOPL #10783658-5501 License# 7656 License# 50145 License# 41354 License# 99338 License# 128344 License# 218294 WA UBI# 603 233 977 License#2102212986 License# 2106212946 License# 2705132153A License# LEAFFNW822JZ License# WV056912 License# WC-29998-H17 Nassau HIC License#H01067000 Registration# 176447 Registration# HIC.0649905 Registration# C127229 Registration# C127230 Registration# 366920918 Registration# PC6475Registration# IR731804 Registration# 13VH09953900 Registration# PA069383 Suffolk HIC License# 52229-H License# 2705169445 License# 262000022License# 262000403 License# 0086990 Registration# H-19114Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withJimbo42 Dec. 2021 783-7039Once upon a time the internet was an escape from reality. Now reality is an escapefrom the internet.
This is that exciting time of the year when I find out what I’m getting my wifefor Christmas.Christmas Stocking GiveawayClosedDecember24th & 25th,January 1stTwo drawings: One for ages 3-8 and one for ages 8-15One entry per customer. Don’t need to be present to win. Drawing on 12.19.21Out ‘n AboutCOOKED FRESH DAILYMerry Christmas & Happy New Year!Coach Terry’sREDEMPTION CENTERThe friendly redemption center8 Tidswell Road, Turner • 207-225-2008Open daily 8am to 4pmCashewsAlmondsRedskinsSpanishBlanchPistachiosMixed NutsSplittin’ Wood Axe ThrowingL to R: Myranda Caputo, Dustin Boutin, John Engelbert, Pat Penley,John Blanchette, Rick Browning, and Ryan JonesHours: Tues, Wed, Thurs 9a-5p; Fri 9a-3p,Sat (Dec. 18) and Mon (Dec 20) 9a-4p; Christmas Eve: 9a-12pWe’re not justNUTS!557 Lincoln Rd, Lewiston • 207-783-1731 • BobsPeanuts.comNeedhamsMerckensMeltingChocolates& MORE!I’m excited to go home for the holidays because it’s been exhausting finishing my ownsentences all year.(continued from page 41)THE LAWYER’SVERSION:If you love somebody,Set her free...Clause 1a of Paragraph13a-1 in the secondamendment of theMatrimonial Freedom Actclearly states that...THE STATISTICIAN’SVERSION:If you love somebody,Set her free...If she loves you, theprobability of her comingback is high;If she doesn’t, your relationshipwas improbableanyway.THE POSSESSIVEVERSION:If you love somebody,don’t ever set her free.THE MBA VERSION:If you love somebodyset her free...instantaneously...and look for others simultaneously.THE PSYCHOLOGIST’SVERSION:If you love somebodyset her free...If she comes back, hersuper ego is dominant;If she doesn’t come back,her ego is supreme;If she doesn’t go, shemust be crazy.THE FINANCE EXPERTVERSION:If you love somebodyset her free...If she comes back, itstime to look for freshloans;If she doesn’t, write heroff as an asset gone bad.THE MARKETINGVERSION:If you love somebodyset her free...If she comes back, shehas brand loyalty;If she doesn’t, repositionthe brand in new markets.Uncle Andy’s DigestDec. 2021 UncleAndys.com...withJimbo43
Page 1 and 2: UNCLEANDY’SGET REAL. GET HYUNDAI.
Page 3 and 4: The pharmacist asked for my birthda
Page 5 and 6: Remember, children. The best way to
Page 7 and 8: I would never mess with Santa Claus
Page 9 and 10: HAS IT ALLOrder Your Holiday Platte
Page 11 and 12: From our family to yours,Let us cat
Page 13 and 14: My neighbor came over last night wi
Page 15 and 16: My wife wanted to go on a trip to s
Page 17 and 18: STRESSED is just DESSERTS spelled b
Page 19 and 20: CAREER OPPORTUNITIESSantaalways get
Page 21 and 22: How do you make Holy Water? You boi
Page 23 and 24: There’s nothing like the joy on a
Page 25 and 26: S ARE IN!Annual Best Businesses for
Page 27 and 28: You know that mouth-watering sensat
Page 29 and 30: Wish KidSawyer(aka Sonic Spider Boy
Page 31 and 32: You know it’s going to be a bad d
Page 33 and 34: I would grow my own food, but I can
Page 35 and 36: Thinking is the last thing on my mi
Page 37 and 38: CALL THE PROSBook Your Appointment
Page 39 and 40: You know it’s going to be a bad d
Page 41: Suburbia: Where they tear out the t
Page 45 and 46: I left Santa gluten-free cookies an
Page 47 and 48: R O O P E R S B E V E R A G E . C O

Uncle Andy's Digest December 2021

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