Backfire - Spander Files

ut he couldn’t find his footing, and he slipped to the ground again, a hand landing
in his vomit.
So he stayed there and tried not to cry. He felt the tears fall down his cheeks, but he
wouldn’t let the emotion follow them to the surface. He buried it behind the only
thing he could find. Anger. And pain.
Xander Harris was no fool. Just like Dad, he thought pointlessly. Xander knew the
pain was there for Angel’s amusement. Evil amusement that had been hidden under
the façade of a soul. How much of the last two years had been a game? Who was
winning? Was the game still in play? Or was it over, and Angel the clear winner?
Xander was in pain.
He wiped his hand on a blanket, then gripped the edge of the mattress and found the
strength to pull himself up. Standing produced all sorts of new stings as he felt
something else tear inside him and more blood flow down his legs.
Xander took a step and almost fell down again. He managed to grab the post at the
end of the bed. Slowly, he made his way to the other side of the bed, holding on to
everything he could find.
Spike watched him the whole time, body frozen in the same position it had been in
throughout Xander’s entire rape.
Rape. His mind was able to say the word and not explode. Xander wondered why
that was. Wondered what it was about himself that allowed him to survive that.
The two didn’t speak as he used the key to release Spike, although Xander saw his
own hands shaking as he did so. He knew that the vampire was in his own kind of
Angel-induced pain, but Xander cared surprisingly little about that.
Spike’s bones cracked when his arms fell to his sides, causing him to sit still for a
few moments twitching lightly. Xander handed him the key, and Spike used it to
free his ankles, the shackles falling back between the mattress and the bed frame,
where they had been hidden. Then he sat on the edge of the bed and placed a hand
on Xander’s non-blood-soaked hip.