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“Xander, I love you. But this crush-thing you apparently have on Spike, it ends<br />
now. It’s weird and creepy and against all laws of humanity. He’s evil. He’s a killer.<br />
And he caused the whole mess happening to you. How can you go to him willingly?<br />
He’ll only kill you in the end. Can’t you see that? We’re only helping him to heal<br />
because you’ll need him soon, and, well, because 3rd degree fractures are gross, but<br />
he’s gone once we cure you. You know that, right? Xander, answer me. How can<br />
you love him?”<br />
With eyes fixated on his friend, Xander reached out with his right hand and ran a<br />
blood-soaked finger down her cheek. “Sweet Willow. I could spend the next hour<br />
sitting here trying to explain myself to you. Trying to explain where these feelings<br />
came from and when and why I fell for that vampire in there. But to be honest, it<br />
really doesn’t matter, and I don‘t have the time. Giles isn’t going to find a cure.<br />
With Angel gone, this itch is going to consume me. Over the next few days, I’m<br />
going to be dying a very slow and painful death. I want that time to be spent<br />
surrounded by the people I love. So this is the way it’s gonna go. We’re not going<br />
to fight. I’m going to love whomever I want to love, and that includes you, Giles,<br />
Buffy and Spike.”<br />
Without finding a logical conclusion to that speech, or waiting for a response from<br />
Willow, Xander got up again (his left arm and hand were now cleaned, but not<br />
bandaged, so blood still leaked out) and disappeared down the hallway and into the<br />
guest bedroom.<br />
Willow fell back onto her heals. She and Giles stared at each other for a long time.<br />
Shortly, Oz joined them and held onto Willow as she wept.<br />
*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*<br />
The moment Xander stepped into the room, the burn inside of him shifted and he<br />
felt the overwhelming pull of needing both Angel and Spike. He had no idea how<br />
this was going to work. It had been months since they had had a threesome, but that<br />
thought seemed rather pointless now. Could he be even remotely satisfied with just<br />
one of them? Well, let’s find out.
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