Backfire - Spander Files

more than anything that he could taste the trust in Xander’s blood. But he realized it
wasn’t a taste; it was a feeling. After several deep swallows, Spike detracted his
fangs and closed the wound. He stayed nuzzled at Xander’s neck, feeling the warm
hands that were stroking his head and back. He barely noticed that he had grown
hard.
“Mmmm,” the vampire mumbled against warm skin, “definitely not orange juice.”
Xander laughed heartily, then calmed quickly before stating, “Don’t suppose I’ll be
able to do that a lot. But you have to eat. Can’t starve yourself.”
Spike lifted his head to meet Xander’s eyes. “Not drinking soddin’ pig’s blood.
That’s rot.”
Xander ghosted a finger over Spike’s rapidly cooling lips. “Spike. I would never
ask you to be less than who you are.”
“You’ll be coming with me, then? When I hunt.”
“No. I can’t do that anymore. It’s not who I am…Not who I should be.
“Fuck who you should be. Figure out who you are.“
“I have, Spike. I’m the fighter. Not like Buffy, of course, but I’m the guy who
didn’t die. I don’t know if I had any control over that. Or, like you said, it was just
the mystical element of my life or my body, but here I am. Not dead. Not a vampire.
Just me. And me is somebody who’s not done fighting.”
“So it doesn’t bother you that I am done?”
Xander pulled the vampire to lay on top of him, and Spike’s erection was renewed
when he felt a matching one beneath the layers of denim. “Oh, I don’t believe that,”
Xander reassured, then kissed him, hard and promising.
Pulling apart, Spike needed to know more before they continued. “What does that
mean? How is this going to work?”