Backfire - Spander Files

“Do you want me to?”
“No.”
“Then I won’t.”
Xander turned around in Spike’s arms until they were face to face. He brought a
hand up and traced a sharp cheekbone on a face that held very little expression.
“I don’t believe you.”
Spike smiled then. Broad and genuine. He leaned forward and kissed Xander firmly
on the lips. The contact was short, and when he pulled away Xander found himself
completely lost in the blue eyes that filled his frame of vision.
Why the fates saw fit to turn this god-like creature into an evil fiend, Xander truly
wanted to know. He decided that he would one day ask the powers-that-be that
question, while at the same time thanking them for giving him this gift of raw
emotion and power that he felt with the vampire. In the course of knowing Spike,
Xander had gone through every feeling known to him, from purest hatred to purest
love, and now, laying here in his vampire’s arms, Xander felt every one of those
emotions flow through him again. He was confused and sated at the same time. It
made his brain hurt, so he closed his eyes and concentrated on the burning itch
inside of him, taking his thoughts away from Spike and giving them to
Angel…Angelus…whoever.
Xander rolled onto his back, holding onto Spike’s hand which now lay gently on his
chest. He stared up at the white ceiling and let his mouth translate his thoughts.
“I always thought that with Angel we were dealing with just a muted down version
of the vampire he once was. I guess I never really understood about the soul, even
when he tried to tell me. I just figured that he made a conscious choice not to do bad
stuff.
“But now I think I understand about evil. Evil is unstable. It’s action, not reaction.
Evil is easy. I think that people in the real world have to work hard every day to