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“Not sure if you can forgive me for wanting to…stop fighting. Have you with me<br />
and not fight that eternal battle that you seem to think we’re all fighting. But I<br />
failed. Or…I didn’t fail, but the mystical elements in your blood…it’s all very<br />
complicated and connected to this bleedin’ Hellmouth, I’m sure.”<br />
He still couldn’t read Xander’s expression. Why was this all making him feel much<br />
worse. Wasn’t confession supposed to be good for the soul? Oh. Perhaps that was<br />
the problem. Well, no point in stopping now.<br />
“Plus, I don’t know how this might have changed you. You were supposed to be a<br />
vampire. You know, evil, and all that. Don’t know if I ended up giving you part of a<br />
demon, or what. But mostly, I don’t know…” Spike closed his eyes for a moment,<br />
then opened them and tried not to look pitiful. “I don’t know if you like me<br />
anymore.”<br />
Xander leaned back again. Spike saw the Xander face that was filled with openness<br />
and humor. “Well, I’m not a vampire. So, I’m thinking, big plus there. And<br />
apparently, I heal really quickly,” he rolled up his left sleeve to show his<br />
unbandaged arm and mostly healed scars, “which is a bonus in my line of work. So<br />
thanks for that. And, let’s see, how else am I changed…? Oh, yeah. I’m cured.”<br />
He climbed off of Spike then, and sat next to him, back against the headboard, right<br />
leg butted up against Spike’s left.<br />
“Giles came to the brilliant conclusion that it was the draining of my blood that<br />
cured me. Wrote it in his diary and everything. I suppose I’ll have to tell him at<br />
some point, but…” He shrugged. “And it wasn’t just your blood, right? I mean, if it<br />
was just vampire blood, then I would have been cured when I bit you that time.<br />
No…it was the turning that did it. You vampires and your wacky rituals.” Xander<br />
shook his head. “Seems someone should have known that one would contradict the<br />
other.”<br />
Spike took one of his boy’s hands. Despite their current positions, he realized that<br />
Xander had not verbally reassured him of his feelings. Spike felt like a big vampiregirl,<br />
needing to hear him say it. Before he could say anything, though, Xander<br />
continued.
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