Backfire - Spander Files

“Xander, are you alright? Really.”
Xander didn’t answer for a moment. “What do Buffy and Willow know?”
Giles removed his glasses and cleaned them absently. “They know of the pull that
you feel toward Spike. And now Angel. And how the vampires feel pulled back
toward you.”
“But do they know-”
“No. They only know about the biting. Nothing else.”
Xander crossed his arms over his chest and did his best to look Giles in the eye, but
failed miserably. The floor was much easier to look at. Oh, look - fascinating
checkerboard pattern. “It’s bad, Giles,” he shivered and the librarian was
immediately by his side. Not touching, but there.
“They can’t just bite. If they just bite, then my body wants to give in. Give over
control and just die. I don’t even think that they would need to take that much blood
in order for it to happen, either. I think my body will just except it and stop
working.”
Giles reached out and touched his arm, causing Xander to flinch.
“I have to…” Xander’s voice got very soft. He didn’t really know if Giles could
hear him, but he kept talking anyway, “I have to be coming…climaxing…when
they do it. I have to be touched. By them.”
“Xander,” was the reply, just as soft, letting him know that Giles had heard. “I’m
trying. I vow to you - I will not stop until I find a cure. I will not stop.”
Xander nodded and the room was still. Why did everything always have to be so
still? So fucking still. All it did was give him time to think and thinking only led to
Spike. And that only led to Angel. And that was badness. Very very badness.
“Grahhhhhhh!” Xander exploded and pushed Giles away from him hard. He spun