Australian Tales - Setis

are all subject to these sort of trials, sir, and I think it would be a good
thing if every one had a sanctum to cool down in. In about half-an-hour
my door has been gently opened, and Nanny has just peeped in with her
mouth screwed up into kissing shape, and with an arch look such as she
well knew how to put on, she has gazed at me for half a minute, then
with a roguish toss of her head muttered, ‘I don't care for you!’ shut the
door and ran away before I could throw my slipper at her. In ten minutes
more she would slyly open the door again and peep in to find me
laughing, of course, how could I help it? That is the way the dear soul
would gently chase away little petty vexations from my heart; she took
other methods in serious matters, but with invariably the same results.
“Now, sir, I will try to picture for a moment what might have resulted
from my impatient temper, had Nanny behaved to me in the teasing spirit
which I have seen some very good, but thoughtless wives exhibit when
their husbands have been temporarily ruffled. Suppose, when I had gone
into my study to cool down my wrath, as I before explained, that Nanny
had followed me in and said carelessly, or perhaps sharply, ‘What is the
matter now?’ or ‘What makes you look so glumpy?’ I should probably
have been vexed at her intrusion, and replied hastily, ‘I will tell you
presently, my dear; leave me just now, if you please.’
“Suppose she had replied, ‘I am sure it must be something dreadful to
make you look so cross, and I want to know what it is?’
“ ‘I ask you to leave me, Mrs. Dovecott!’ I might have said
emphatically; perhaps I should have said something much sharper than
that, for I confess I am not particularly polite when irritated, and I can
easily imagine how a regular storm might have been raised had she
retorted in my own pungent style. Had she, too, adopted a popular
expedient and ran for her father, or her brother and his wife, or some of
her cousins to adjudge our quarrel, their interference would perhaps have
provoked me to fighting pitch, and a furious family brawl would have
been the result. The parson of the parish would perhaps have been sent
for to repair the breach, and seeing faults on both sides he would not
have been able conscientiously to decide in favour of either,
consequently he would have offended us all, and would probably have
lost us from his congregation, for staying from church is the usual silly
plan people adopt for evidencing their dislike to their minister, and
avenging themselves on his pocket at the same time. The fracas would
have been as relishable as hot muffins and eschalots to the gossips of the
neighbourhood, and through their influence the mischief might have
spread far and wide like a dust storm. Of course it would have been
reported that Mr. and Mrs. Dovecott lived ‘a cat and dog life.’ Friends
would have poured in sympathy and condolence on both sides, and
thereby fomented strife; thenceforward family brawls would have been
as frequent as the whirls of a weathercock. A deed of separation would