Australian Tales - Setis

often been obliged to exercise his authority to keep order in the church
porch, and to flog some of those thoughtless triflers who had so little
veneration for the sanctity of God's House, as to create noises and
disturbance during Divine Service, to the annoyance of the congregation,
as well as to the distraction of the minister in the pulpit.
“When Mr. Budd, the beadle, got outside the churchdoors, he soon
ascertained that the objectionable sounds came from the bell-turret. So
upstairs he hastened, and with difficulty squeezed his big body through
the little door-way behind the organ, gave a terrible scowl, in passing, at
the tall youth, who was still tolling the bell (which signified that he owed
him a caning, and would not forget to pay him when he came down), and
began to ascend the dusty ladder, which was not a very easy or dignified
job for a bulky parish beadle with his best gold-laced Sunday coat on.
“Just as my brother and I were singing with all our might, ‘How doth
the little busy bee,’ the fat head and shoulders of Mr. Budd appeared
through the trap opening of the turret, which put a stop to our music in a
moment, and made us shrink into our humblest dimensions — for we had
a wholesome dread of beadles, as most little boys have, or had, in those
good old times, when beadles were men of more importance than they
are now-a-days. In another moment or two my terrified brother Bob and
myself were hopping about the shaking turret like scalded frogs, and
humbly begging the irate functionary to have mercy upon us; but he
totally disregarded our petitions, or our loud screams (which further
astounded the congregation below), and flogged us until he was satisfied
he had given us sufficient, or else was thoroughly winded and not able to
cane us any more. While Mr. Budd was taking a rest and wiping the
perspiration from his red face, my brother and I descended the ladder
faster than lamplighters, and rushed out of the doorway behind the organ,
receiving a savage kick each from the bellringer as we departed; then we
made the best of our way downstairs, and out of the church, with
hundreds of flashing eyes following us, and with more marks than we
had ever before received in one day, some of which were plainly
traceable seven weeks afterwards.”
* * * * *
Some readers may be inclined to think that there is nothing in the
foregoing incident very creditable to my old friend's young head, or his
heart either. So I think; and my old friend is of the same opinion himself.
He did not tell the story exultingly — far from it; but he is especially
anxious for the welfare of young people; and in his endeavours to
instruct, as well as to amuse them, he sometimes refers to his own
youthful follies or foibles — not for the imitation of others, but for the
purpose of warning them of the treacherous by-paths, from the highway