Australian Tales - Setis

have been the dernier ressort, as it generally is in such cases, and dear
Nanny and I would be perhaps pining apart at this day in solitary
sadness, or abusing each other in bitterness of spirit.
“If you think this an over-drawn picture from fancy, Mr. Boomerang,
here is an analogous one from real life. I could give you more, but one
such specimen is sufficient for you, I'm sure. A young married couple
were debating on the tender subject of choosing a name for their firstborn.
The husband's choice was Peter, but the wife, after sharply
condemning his taste, declared she would sooner call the boy Poker or
Pitchfork. High words ensued — for they were two simpletons — and
grew into a violent quarrel, when the wife, with an hysterical outburst of
feeling exclaimed, ‘I'll go and tell father!’ and ran off to her sire, who
lived not far away, and soon he was hastening to the house in a red hot
rage with his excited daughter behind him. It is no marvel that the young
husband, goaded to fury by his father-in-law's abuse and undue
interference, kicked him out of the house. The old man's litigious spirit
was aroused, an action for assault and battery — with heavy damages
— was begun forthwith, and that trumpery quarrel, which has taken me
two minutes to tell of, extended over two years, drove the husband into
the Insolvent Court, and forced the wife to earn a separate maintenance.
Whether they are reunited I cannot say, but I am half inclined to say
— for the sake of posterity — I hope they are not.
“ ‘What God hath joined together, let not man put asunder,’ is a solemn
injunction, which if more generally observed, would wonderfully add to
the peace of many disjointed families, and to society at large. I have
known the happiness of a household completely blasted by the
interference of relatives or friends, with perhaps the best intention too.
When either a husband or a wife begins to even whisper of each other's
faults or short-comings to a third person, Ichabod is written on the door
of their home. That is my opinion, Mr. Boomerang, and I would
affectionately warn married folks — young couples especially — to be
very watchful against those rankling sources of discord and hatred, and
to bar their doors as carefully against idle gossips and scandal-mongers
as they do against midnight robbers.
“I knew a married couple, good old folks they were, too. I believe they
loved everybody but themselves — and they would have loved and
respected each other, if busybodies had not tampered with them. They
had occasional tiffs about trifles not worth a penny cabbage, but instead
of going into their sanctums to cool, and to pray at the same time, then to
come out and kiss away their contentions, they were in the habit of
sending for a neighbour to settle their disputes, and he usually made
matters worse, though I dare say he strove to mend them. Mr.
the said neighbour — was a worthy man in his way, though not
overstocked with common sense, or he would have declined the