Australian Tales - Setis

“Don't Mention It.”
“I WOULD not tell another being in the world beside yourself, for I
don't want it to be said that I tried to ruin the poor wretches. You won't
mention it, will you?”
“Not I, indeed, if I were chained to a hot griddle; you may safely trust
me with anything. But it is very disgraceful. When did you hear of it?”
“On Tuesday evening, and I have been dying to see you ever since.
Bear in mind, dear, I don't vouch for the correctness of the report, but I
give it you just as I got it from Sukey Sleigh, who overheard the servants
next door whispering it over the back fence. It is likely enough to be true,
though, and I am not surprised at it, for these shabby-genteel folks are
often great schemers. I have always said those Campbells were haughty,
stuck-up people, and I shall be pleased to see them pulled down from
their stilts and rolled in the dirt.”
“So shall I, for I hate them. They are proud as peacocks, and as poor as
caged owls, too. Mrs. Campbell has worn that everlasting blue silk dress
three summers, and her grey horse-hair bonnet has been cleaned twice, to
my certain knowledge. The old man, too, looks as dismally seedy as an
undertaker's coachman; and as for the girls — ugh! I've no patience with
them. The butcher's boy told our servant, Mag, the other day, that they
never order anything but shins of beef and sheeps' heads, or now and
then a neck of mutton for Sunday. Pooh! I should like to know what they
have to be proud of, the nasty, disagreeable, unsociable creatures. I
should like to see them obliged to leave the neighbourhood altogether.”
* * * * *
Thus, Mrs. Gabb, and her spinster cousin Miss Pryer (a precious pair,
of the backbiting genus), scandalized a respectable family over the way,
who have unconsciously incurred the envy and hatred of their detractors
for no other cause than their having prudently kept aloof from the society
of such ill-bred, dangerous characters. Miss Pryer tells Mrs. Gabb, as a
profound secret, that Mr. Campbell is meditating a moonlight flitting
from his house, to defraud his landlord, which report is without the
slightest foundation. Mrs. Gabb of course tells Mr. Gabb while she is
preparing for bed that night, and at the same time adds a little to the
story, from her own private stock of spite. The next morning Mr. Gabb