Australian Tales - Setis

luck wud have it, I wint on board the steamer what had jist come in from
Sydney one mornin', an' axed the captain, who was a rale sinsible-lookin'
man, an' ses he to me, “I know a jintleman in Sydney, named Edwin
O'Grady, Esquire, M.L.A.”
“ ‘ “Shure that isn't me brother Teddy, sir,” ses I, “for he isn't a squire,
nor a Malay naythir; he's an Irishman every bit ov him, an' there isn't a
single tint ov black blood in his carcass, I'll engage.” The captain
laughed, an' ses he, “What sort ov a lookin' chap is this brother Teddy ov
yours?” “Dear knows what he looks like now, sir,” ses I; “but he was a
rale broth ov a bhoy thirty years agone; jist like meself, an' not a morsel
or difference atween us, only he'd got more sinse in his head nor me.” “I
know him well enough,” ses the captain; “he has often sailed wid me.
Hasn't he got a scar jist over his nose?” “To be shure he has, sir,” says I,
“an' well enough I ought to know it, too, for it was meself as made it for
him. We was havin' a bit ov sport one day, in Larry Flynn's barrn, an' me
sthick slipped an' hit Teddy a little bit too hard, wus luck, an' pretty nigh
knocked his nose off altogether. That's him safe enough, sir,” ses I, “an'
though he's got a little O nailed afore his name, an' a hape ov jinglin'
titles afther it, like tin pots to a dog's tail, he's me own brother Teddy, an'
all the whizzinags in the world won't alter it, soh. I'll go an' see him pritty
quick,” ses I. So I shouldered me luggage an' took all them crathers wid
me on board an empty collier brig, an' the captain gave us a passage
chape bekase we found our own victuals an' slept on the stone ballast in
the hold; an' here we are all on us safe and sound — thank God — an'
there's me brother Teddy too beyant, lookin' as grand as the Lord Mayor
ov Dublin — long life to him. Troth it's the merriest Christmas Day I've
ever seed in my life, so it is; though that long flunkey there, in the yellow
breeches, knocked me spinnin' down the steps, and made this big bump
on top ov me head. But niver mind that, good luck to everybody, that's
all I've got to say. Ugh! Pat, what a gorf ye must be to go an' choke
yerself wid that red hot what-you-may-call-em?’ added Bryan, with a
reproving glance at his son, who was sneezing and coughing
immoderately, having eaten a large capsicum, supposing it to be an
Australian plum.
“After the cloth was removed, the host — who had been unusually
thoughtful during dinner — rose, and in a rich musical voice spoke as
follows:
“ ‘My dear friends, I'm not a man to spake much, and dear knows,
some ov the fellows who gabble a mighty dale had better be quiet, there
may be fewer folks would know they were sich fools. I'm plaised to see
ye all here to-day, and though there are more here than I invited, there's
not one that isn't welcome. Frinds, whin I look beyant there (pointing to
his brother's family), I feel like a fellow who has just been caught
cheating a poor blind man, and that's a fact. It's more nor thirty years