Australian Tales - Setis

smart-looking houses, situate within a mile or two of Sydney post-office;
and to help them to pay their rent, they boarded Mr. Dugald McSkilly, a
Caledonian dentist (about nine months out from Dundee), and lodged
him in the back attic.
Mr. and Mrs. Lemonpip had sat down to their dinner-table. The pork
sausages were steaming in a dish before Mr. Lemonpip, and the mashed
potatoes were steaming in another dish before his spouse, whose nose,
by-the-bye, had deepened in colour a shade since she had taken the
thimbleful of gin from the black bottle in the cupboard; and though the
little woman was really anxious to know what had brought her husband
home so unusually early that morning, and what made him look so
mysteriously waggish, she was too much ruffled in spirit to ask any
questions on the subject, but sat and ate her sausages in silence. Presently
Mr. Lemonpip arose, and dipping his hand into his breast-pocket,
produced a small parcel, which he untied, and exultingly held before his
wife's little gooseberry eyes a very chaste gold brooch, with his own
photograph in it, and kissing her most affectionately, he presented the
glittering gem, while his face looked the picture of gladness in a frostcovered
frame.
“Now I'll tell you what has brought me home so early to-day,” said Mr.
Lemonpip, smiling and nodding his head sideways, in the most facetious
style, “I've got a half-holiday, and I'm going to treat you to a trip to
Manly Beach; for don't you know, ducky, this is our wedding-day. The
twenty-fifth anniversary of our happy nuptial morn, when we drove to
church in your father's tilted waggon, with bells on the horses' hames,
and old Godfrey Walloper the waggoner, in his best white smock-frock,
and a bunch of marigolds pinned to his breast. Ha! ha! ha! don't you
remember that delightful day, Betty, my bird? Mr. Docket, our head
wharfinger, with his wife and children, are going to Manly Beach too;
and I have promised to meet them on board the two o'clock boat, at
Woolloomooloo Bay. We will have a nice pleasant afternoon together on
the sea-beach, ‘jolly companions every one,’ as the old song says.”
“Pooh! sea-beach, indeed,” snapped Mrs. Lemonpip, “I shall see no
sea-beach to-day; I've got to clean the kitchen out, and get things straight
for the new girl who is coming to-night. The place is like a pig-sty from
bottom to top.”
“Never mind the kitchen, ducky,” said Mr. Lemonpip, “let the new girl
clean it when she comes, or send for old Mrs. Dudds, round the corner,
and let her do it, she will be glad of the job, poor thing!”
“Ah, poor thing, indeed! you are always thinking of some poor thing or
other, to empty your pockets, and keep you poor. If I wasn't to look out a
little sharper after the main thing than you do, we should have been out
of house and home long ago. Send for Mrs. Dudds, indeed! I shall do no
such thing, Lemonpip. If I help all your poor things, I shall soon be a