Australian Tales - Setis

make hair grow on a marrow-bone. Ha, ha, ha! won't my bare poll look
nice and shiny?” chuckled Jabez, putting away his shaving-tackle, and
taking up the pomatum pot. “Eh — hallo! what's this? Botheration take
that fellow Lint! if he hasn't sent me a potful of salve for sore legs, in
mistake. What a nuisance! Well, never mind, it can't be helped now, and
it won't do to get cross this morning. I must sprinkle my head with
‘Jockey-club,’ and stroke my beard with a wax candle.”
Eleven o'clock struck, and Jabez was in the drawing-room receiving his
guests, and looking longingly out of the window every minute for his
little “robin redbreast,” as he called Kitty. Never had his neighbours seen
him look so smart before, and compliments were showered upon him till
he blushed blue. He was just telling Mr. Grouts that he felt happy enough
to fly, when Mrs. Budge placed a note in his hands. He opened it, then
turned pale, and with a prolonged groan he hastily left the room, toddled
upstairs as fast as he could and jumped into his bridal bed. He was
quickly followed by a score of friends, all anxious for an explanation of
his mysterious flight, but no clue could they gather from him. To their
united entreaties to come out of bed, or merely to show his face, he only
replied in smothered yells from beneath the bed clothes, as if his mouth
were full of blankets —
“Go home! go home! every one of you. Leave me alone! Leave me
alone! I shall never get up any more.”
After an excited discussion, which did not enlighten any one in the
least degree, all the company — save Mr. Grouts — went home, without
breakfast; some declaring that Jabez was drunk, but the majority
believing that he was suddenly struck silly. An hour afterwards not less
than a hundred boys and girls were seated in a green paddock adjoining
Gumberry Lodge, and the wedding breakfast was portioned out to them
by Mr. and Mrs. Grouts, to the great satisfaction of the children, but to
the marked disgust of old Mrs. Budge, and her ravenous boy Billy.
Mr. Gummy kept to his bridal bed (in full dress) for three days, during
which time he doggedly refused to speak or to partake of any
refreshment. On the fourth day he felt very hungry, so he got up and
ordered a rump steak and fried potatoes. After a hearty meal, he went
into Sydney and gave orders to an agent to let Gumberry Lodge,
furnished. He then returned home, gave Mrs. Budge and her boy Billy a
week's wages and their dismissal, and the next day he started for
Melbourne, without saying goodbye to any of his neighbours.
* * * * *
Thirteen months after the above occurrences, Mr. Gummy and Mr.
Grouts were sitting by the fireside in a little back parlour at Gumberry
Lodge. Mr. Gummy had recently returned from his tour, and regained