Australian Tales - Setis

very words widow Mayberry said to me,” continued Mrs. Grouts, “so it
is pretty clear that what you may say to her will not stop the match, but
will very likely make all the family enemies to us; then woe to our
garden, for they will let all their cocks and hens loose again!”
“Humph! But Jabez is an old crony of mine and I am really more
concerned about him than about the girl,” said Mr. Grouts. “We know
that only a week or two ago she was flirting with Ben Spry, and I dare
say she is fond of him, for he is a smart young fellow, only he happens to
be poor, which is equal to a serious failing with widow Mayberry; more
simpleton she, for I declare if Kitty were my girl, I would rather let her
have Ben with only his trade to depend on, than old Gummy if he could
load the ship “La Hogue” with Spanish dollars. I don't like to say
anything to Jabez about Kitty's flirtations, for it would look like tattling,
and you know I abhor that sort of mischief; but if I could stop his
marriage by some honest means, I am sure he will be much obliged to
me when he returns to his senses. At any rate, I'll try what I can do,”
added Mr. Grouts, taking his hat and stick. “I'll walk over to his house
and have a little quiet chat with him, and if love has not blinded him
outright, he will see that he is running into nettles, and stop in time.”
His wife exclaimed, “Stnff and nonsense!” Nevertheless, away went
Mr. Grouts on his delicate errand, and soon he was welcomed by his old
friend Jabez, whom he found very busy overlooking his wearing apparel,
and arranging it in a handsome wardrobe, which had been sent from the
upholsterer's that afternoon.
“Glad to see you, Grouts,” said Jabez, grinning like an ape who had
just picked up a soldier's jacket; “I'm in a bit of a muddle, you see, but I
know you will excuse it. Take a seat — stay, stay, don't sit on my frilled
shirt, or you'll ruin me. That is an important part of my wedding outfit.
Blue coat, drab breeches and gaiters, buff waistcoat, and a frilled shirt;
shan't I look buckish? ho, ho, ho! Wasn't you tremendously tickled when
you heard I was going to tie the knot?”
“No, I wasn't tickled at all, Jabez, but I was very much astonished at
your choosing a girl who only a month or two ago was in short
petticoats,” said Mr. Grouts, drily. “We have always been in the habit of
speaking plainly to each other, so I tell you candidly that I wish you had
courted her mother instead.”
“Ha, ha, ha! I always liked spring lamb,” chuckled Jabez; “Kitty is
much handsomer than her mother, and she is intensely fond of me. She is
always stroking my beard, and calling me her pee-weet. She will make a
loving little wife, I'm sure; just the one for me, for I like to be petted. The
darling! ho, ho, ho! Don't you wish you were Jabez Gummy, eh,
Grouts?”
“Bah!” grunted Mr. Grouts. “I hope you won't get pepper-mint sauce
with your spring lamb. Now, seriously, Jabez, do you think it is natural