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symlx>lism of the funeral period have mostly been swept away from the pragmatic ethos of
OUf time. Hence. Gorer's thesis that
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Ihe lack of accepted ritual and guidance is accompanied by a very
considerable amount of maladaptive behaviour. from the triviality of
meaningless "busy-ness" through the private rituals of what I have called
mummification to the apathy of despair.!
In other words, Gorer defends the view that giving way lO grief is a psychological
necessity, and thai its forced inhibition by the "death denying society," which discards
grief as morbid, demoralizing, and contradictory to its "fun mora(ity," is not withollt
consequences. For, the whole apparatus of death and mourning riles channels as well as
releases or relaxes the tensions to be dealt with in such a crisis, and this quilc apan from
belicf in immonality. Ritual activity has been called a healing blessing ,IS it c,lrries the
mourner past a dead centre and on his way again. 2 There is data 10 show a relationship
between the observance of post-funeral rilUals and grief adjustment, panicularly afler death
of a spouse. 3
The process of bereavement is complete when the afflicted survivor becomes
operational again; in the best case, it tenninates in relief, quiescence and equilibrium.
While the death of a dear one is a curable trauma, some types of death arc morc problematic
than others. "Untimely" death, which is either premature, unexpected, or calamitous, is
more liable to pathological reaction for lack of anticipatory grief, which otherwise facilitates
the mourning process:
... when anticipatory grief is absent or greatly abbreviated, unlimely
dealh usually evokes numbness and disbelief about the immcdialc fact of
death itself. Terrible anxiety and anguiSh, dejcction, awareness of loss,
crying, searChing, craving for the deceased, intennittent anger, delusions,
depersonaliz.ation, and hallucinations. 4
Strikingly, the psychiatrist's proposed remedy is a clear echo of traditional wisdom, Ihe
very attitude underlying "tamed death";
Because death may come at any time to anyone, our basic orientation is
that living and dying are concomitant phases of the same process.
IGorer 127.
200rer 145.
JChrislopher Bohon and Dclpha J. Camp. "Funeral Rituals and Ihe Facilitation of Grief
Work," Omega 17.4 (1986-87):343-52.
4Avery D. Weisman. "Coping with Untimely Dealh," Psychialry 36 (1973): 371.