divine-mercy-in-my-soul

875 Today, I experienced a great suffering during the visit of our sisters. I learned of
something that hurt me terribly, but I controlled myself so that the sisters didn‟t notice
anything. For some time, the pain was tearing my heart apart, but all that is for the sake
of poor sinners…… O Jesus, for poor sinners…… Jesus, my strength, stay close to me,
help me……..
876 (248) January 10, 1937. I asked the Lord today to give me strength in the morning so that
I could go to receive Holy Communion. My Master, I ask You with all my thirsting heart to
give me, if this is according to Your holy will, any suffering and weakness that You like – I
want to suffer all day and all night – but please, I fervently beg You, strengthen me for the
one moment when I am to receive Holy Communion. You see very well, Jesus, that here
they do not bring Holy Communion to the sick; so, if You do not strengthen me for that
moment so that I can go down to the chapel, how can I receive You in the Mystery of
Love? And You know how much my heart longs for You. O my sweet Spouse, what‟s the
good of all these reasonings? You know how ardently I desire You, and if you so choose
You can do this for me.
On the following morning, I felt as if I were perfectly well; the faintings and the
weaknesses ceased. But as soon as I returned from the chapel, all the sufferings and
weaknesses immediately returned, as if they had been waiting for me. But I had no fear
of them (249) at all, because I had been nourished by the Bread of the Strong. I boldly
look at everything; even death itself I look straight in the eye.
877 + O Jesus concealed in the Host, my sweet Master and faithful Friend, how happy my
soul is to have such a Friend who always keeps me company. I do not feel lonely even
though I am in isolation. Jesus-Host, we know each other – that is enough for me.
878 January 12, 1937. Today, when the doctor [Adam Silberg] making his rounds came to
see me, he somehow didn‟t like the way I looked. Naturally, I was suffering more, and so
my temperature had gone up considerably. Consequently, he decided I must not go
down for Holy Communion until my temperature dropped to normal. I said, “All right,”
although pain seized my heart; but I said I would go only if I had no fever. So he agreed
to that. When the doctor left, I said to the Lord, “Jesus, now it is up to You whether I shall
go or not,” and I didn‟t think about it anymore, although the thought kept coming to my
mind: I am not (250) to have Jesus – no, that‟s impossible – and not just once but for
several days, until my temperature drops. But in the evening, I said to the Lord, “Jesus, if
my Communions are pleasing to You, I beg You humbly, grant that I have not one degree
of fever tomorrow morning.”
In the morning, as I was taking my temperature, I thought to myself, “If there is even one
degree, I will not get up because that would be contrary to obedience.” But when I looked
at the thermometer, there wasn‟t even one degree of fever. I jumped to my feet at once
and went to Holy Communion. When the doctor came and I told him that I had had not
even one degree of fever, and so had gone to Holy Communion, he was surprised. I
begged him not to make it difficult for me to go to Holy Communion, for it would have an
adverse effect on the treatment. The doctor answered, “For peace of conscience, and at
the same time to avoid difficulties for yourself, Sister, let us make the following
agreement: when the weather is fine, and it isn‟t raining, and you feel all right, then,
Sister, please go; but you must weigh these matters in your conscience.” It made me
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