divine-mercy-in-my-soul

253 +I must never judge anyone, but look at others with leniency and at myself with severity. I
must refer everything to God and, in my own eyes, recognize myself for what I am: utter
misery and nothingness. In suffering, I must be patient and quiet, knowing that everything
passes in time.
254 (116) +The moments I lived through when I was taking my perpetual vows are better left
unsaid.
I am in Him, and He in me. As the Bishop [Rospond] was putting the ring on my finger,
God pervaded my whole being, and since I cannot express that moment, I will be silent
about it. My relationship with God, since perpetual vows, has been more intimate than it
had ever been before. I sense that I love God and that He loves me. Having once tasted
God, my soul could not live without Him. One hour spent at the foot of the altar in the
greatest dryness of spirit is dearer to me than a hundred years of worldly pleasures. I
prefer to be a lowly drudge in the convent than a queen in the world.
255 +I will hide from people‟s eyes whatever good I am able to do so that God Himself may be
my reward. I will be like a tiny violet hidden in the grass, which does not hurt the foot that
treads on it, but diffuses its fragrance and, forgetting itself completely, tries to please the
person who has crushed it underfoot. This is very difficult for human nature, but God‟s
grace comes to one‟s aid.
256 +Thank You, Jesus, for the great favor of making known to me the whole abyss of my
misery. I know that I am an abyss of nothingness and that, if Your holy grace did not hold
me up, I would return to nothingness in a moment. And so, with every beat of my heart, I
thank You, my God, for Your great mercy towards me.
257 Tomorrow I am to leave for Vilnius. Today, I went to confession to Father Andrasz, this
priest who is so filled with the spirit of God, who untied my wings so that I could soar to
the highest summits. He reassured me in everything and told me to believe in Divine
Providence. “Have confidence and walk ahead with courage.” An extraordinary, divine
power came over me after that confession. (117) Father stressed that I must be faithful
to God‟s grace and said, “No harm will come to you if, in the future, you continue to keep
this same simplicity and obedience. Have confidence in God; you are on the right path
and in good hands, in God‟s hands.”
258 +That evening, I remained in the chapel a little longer. I talked to the Lord about a certain
soul. Encouraged by His goodness, I said, “Jesus, you gave me this Father who
understands my inspirations, and now You are taking him away from me again. What am
I going to do in this Vilnius? I don‟t know anyone there, and even the dialect of the people
there is foreign to me.” And the Lord said to me, Do not fear; I will not leave you to
yourself. My soul drowned itself in a prayer of thanksgiving for all the graces that the
Lord had granted me through the mediation of Father Andrasz.
Suddenly, I remembered the vision in which I had seen that priest between the
confessional and the altar, trusting that I would meet him some day. And the words I had
heard came back vividly: He will help you to fulfill My will here on earth.
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