Billy Bunter's Benefit By Frank Richards - Friardale

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Billy Bunter’s Benefit By Frank Richards I know, but I wonder that he’s such an ass as to play duds like you chaps. Anyhow, I’ve got lines to do, and it’s all your fault, as you know. Shut up, if you don’t want me to knock your silly heads together.” Potter and Greene sat up at that. They were used to rather dictatorial ways from Coker. But there was a limit—especially when, owing to the rift in the lute, Coker’s ample hampers were no longer available to his studymates. Coker’s high-and-mighty ways, accompanied by hampers, were one thing. Unaccompanied by hampers, they were quite another. “I’d like to see you knock our heads together, Coker!” “I jolly well would!” hooted Greene. “Oh, would you?” exclaimed Coker. “Then I’ll jolly well do it, see?” And he grabbed. One brawny hand grabbed Potter in the Window-seat. The other brawny hand grabbed Greene in the armchair. Before they quite knew what was happening, Potter and Greene were whirled together, and their two heads came into contact with a loud Concussion. Crack! “Oh!” roared Potter. “Oh!” roared Greene. Coker had done it! He had knocked their heads together, as he had said that he would. Possibly Coker expected that to end the matter, and Potter and Greene to shut up, and keep quiet, while he did his lines, If so, what he expected did not come to pass. Potter and Greene, grabbed by Coker, grabbed Coker in their turn. They grabbed him with energy. The three of them whirled in combat. They crashed into the study table, and sent it flying. Sheets of impot paper, adorned with lines from the Aeneid in Coker’s sprawling fist, went to the floor. On them landed the inkpot. And on the lines and the inkpot trampled feet, as three excited fellows whirled round the study struggling. Bump! Coker landed on the floor. Big and beefy as he was, Horace was not quite a match for Potter and Greene combined. They fairly crashed him down, in a breathless heap. Coker sprawled over Latin lines in a sea of ink, gurgling for breath. Leaving him to sprawl, Potter and Greene walked out of the study—a little breathless, but not so breathless as Coker. They rubbed their hands as they went. Coker sat up. He was breathless. He was dirty. He was surrounded by an overturned Page 104 of 161
Billy Bunter’s Benefit By Frank Richards table and several overturned chairs, scattered books and papers. “000oooh!” gasped Coker. He staggered to his feet. He remembered his lines. He looked at them. They lay at his feet—swimming in ink. Three hundred and fifty lines out of the total of seven hundred and fifty-six—nearly half that awful “book”— inky, crumpled, trampled—obviously in no state for presentation to Prout! Coker gazed at them, with feelings that could not be expressed in English, or Latin, or any known language. He gazed and gazed. It was quite a long time before Coker felt equal to setting up the table, sorting out fresh impot paper and starting again at “arma virumque cano.” CHAPTER XXVII SURPRISING! “BEATS me!” said Bob Cherry. “The beatfulness is terrific!” agreed Hurree Jamset Ram Singh. “Potty, I suppose,” remarked Johnny Bull. “Can’t make it out,” said Frank Nugent. Harry Wharton shook his head. He was puzzled: and so were most of the Remove fellows. It was really hard to understand. Billy Bunter was “in” for the Old Boy’s Latin Prize. On Tuesday the papers had to be handed in to Mr. Quelch. It was a “Form” prize, and concerned only the Lower Fourth and their form-master. It was Quelch’s duty, and perhaps his pleasure, to go through the papers submitted, judge them, and award the cash prize to the best. Half-a-dozen Remove men were putting in for it. The surprising thing was that William George Bunter was one of the fellows who marched off to Quelch’s study after class to hand in his paper. It was not surprising that Bunter, well known to be in need of cash, and with the dread of Mr. Parker on his fat mind, had, in an optimistic moment, entered for the prize. Hope springs eternal in the human breast: and Bunter might have entertained a faint hope of pulling it off—when he put down his name. That he had the faintest chance was, of course, an absurd idea. He was easily the worst man in the form at that game—even a dense fellow like Bolsover major, or a slacker like Snoop, could have beaten him hollow. Moreover, he was also the laziest member of the Remove, and even if he Page 105 of 161
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Billy Bunter's Benefit By Frank Richards - Friardale

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