Billy Bunter's Benefit By Frank Richards - Friardale

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Billy Bunter’s Benefit By Frank Richards “On the roof!” said Potter, faintly. “Just that! Then all I’ve got to do is to pick out the chimney of the Rag— .” “The—the chimney!” “There’s no fire in this weather, of course. I drop the stink-bombs down the chimney, one after another—.” “Oh, crickey!” “And stink ‘em out!” grinned Coker. “See? Think they’ll carry on, with the room full of frightful smells? Bet the audience will bolt at the first pop.” “Oh, Jemima!” “Ha, ha, ha!” roared Coker. “Will that dish them! What? They won’t be playing ‘Hamlet’! They’ll all be stopping their noses and scudding. Ha, ha, ha!” Coker’s merry roar awoke the echoes of Courtfield Common. He seemed to expect Potter and Greene to join in the merriment. But they didn’t. They gazed at Coker in something like horror. Coker’s latest seemed to petrify them. “But—but—but you can’t do it, Coker!” gasped Potter. “Can’t I?” grinned Coker. “You’ll see that I can.” “There’ll be a frightful row if you do—,” stuttered Greene. “I shouldn’t wonder,” said Coker, carelessly. “What about it?” “Prout would march you off to the Head!” “I’m not going to mention it to Prout,” said Coker, sarcastically. “But—but—look here, old chap—.” “If you fellows like to lend a hand,” said Coker. “No jolly fear!” gasped Greene. “Why, a man might be sacked for playing such a mad trick.” “Head’s flogging, at least,” said Potter. “Look here, Coker——” “That’s what I’m going to do,” said Coker, calmly. “I simply shall not allow that performance to come off. That’s final. Don’t argue.” “But, old fellow—.” “Don’t jaw, Potter.” “But, look here—,” urged Greene. “Don’t blather, Greene.” Coker’s mind, evidently, was made up. He had no use for argument, and none for expostulation. He had thought out this masterly plot for putting paid to the Remove Dramatic Society, and that was that! His determination was fixed, immutable, as the laws of the Medes and Persians. “But—!” said Potter and Greene together. “It’s settled,” said Coker. “When I make up my mind, it’s like the manners Page 120 of 161
Billy Bunter’s Benefit By Frank Richards and customs of the Swedes and Nasturtiums—a fixture. Don’t jaw.” “Well,” said Potter, with a sudden inspiration. “Let’s talk it over, Coker, while we have tea at Chunkley’s—.” “Eh? We’re not having tea at Chunkley’s,” said Coker. “What?” “I tea’d in hall before I came out. I’m going to Chunkley’s for those stinkbombs, and if they haven’t got ‘em, I’m going over to Lantham. Put it on a bit, you fellows—no time to waste, you know.” Coker walked on, with his long strides. But Potter and Greene did not walk on. They bestowed the most expressive of looks at Coker’s departing back, turned, and walked back to Greyfriars. Their friendly overtures were producing, not tea at Chunkley’s, but a chance of getting mixed up in Coker’s maddest stunt ever! With deep feelings, Potter and Greene walked back to the school, and the great Horace went on to Courtfield on his own. CHAPTER XXXI EASY MONEY! “SPANKER!” said Billy Bunter, thoughtfully. “Um! Spanker!” Bob Cherry glanced round. Bunter, apparently, was speaking to himself—thinking aloud, as it were. He was sitting on the settee on the Remove landing, when Bob came by. There was a newspaper in his fat hands, at which he was blinking with more concentrated attention than he ever bestowed on any school book. Something in that newspaper, plainly, interested Billy Bunter very deeply. He did not even observe Bob or his surprised glance. “Spanker!” he repeated. His fat brow was corrugated with lines of thought. “I fancy that’s all right! Yes! Spanker!” It was quite mysterious to Bob. “I fancy Spanker will be all right!” murmured Bunter. “Hallo, hallo, hallo!” roared Bob. “What’s that game, Bunter?” The fat Owl jumped, and blinked round at him. In a moment the newspaper was folded and jammed under Bunter’s jacket—a proceeding that caused Bob to stare blankly. It seemed that Bunter did not want that newspaper to be seen! “Oh, really, Cherry—.” “What are you burbling about?” asked Bob. “Oh! Nothing! I—I was just reading the—the cricket news—.” Page 121 of 161
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