Billy Bunter's Benefit By Frank Richards - Friardale

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Billy Bunter’s Benefit By Frank Richards “Nothing!” answered Johnny Bull. “What about yours, Inky?” “The nothingness about my bike is terrific, my esteemed fat Bunter.” “And now, get out of the doorway,” said Harry Wharton. Without getting out of the doorway. Billy Bunter blinked at the Famous Five with his most withering blink. Whether it was brotherly affection, or the prospect of a hamper, Bunter certainly did want to go over to Cliff House that afternoon and visit Bessie Bunter. Had the Famous Five been in the Rag, ready for rehearsals, Bunter would have had the choice of five machines. And apart from those five, there was on that sunny afternoon, only one other jigger in the bike-shed—Smithy’s. And Herbert Vernon- Smith was not a fellow whose bike could be borrowed without leave and with impunity. It was all very annoying indeed to Billy Bunter. “I say, you fellows, don’t be selfish beasts,” he urged. “I keep on telling you that I’ve got to go over to Cliff House. How can I go over without a bike?” “You’d like to go over with my bike?” asked Bob. Bunter’s fat face brightened. “Yes, rather, old chap! Put the saddle down for me— I’ve not got spindleshanks like yours, you know.” “You silly ass, Bob,” roared Johnny Bull. “You’re not going to cut a spin and let that fat ass have your bike. Why can’t he mend his own?” “Too lazy, I expect,” answered Bob. “Isn’t that it, Bunter?” “Oh, really, Cherry—.” “Get out of that doorway, or I’ll jolly well buff my bike into you!” shouted Johnny. “Beast!” “Hold on,” said Bob. “If you really and truly want to go over, Bunter—.” “Yes, old chap. I want to go over at once.” “With my bike?” “Yes, old fellow.” “Well, there’s no accounting for tastes,” said Bob. “But as you won’t get out of the doorway, and you really and truly want to go over, with my bike, here goes.” Bob Cherry rushed his bike into the doorway. The front wheel collided with the plumpest legs at Greyfriars School. There was a roar from Billy Bunter as he went over. “Yarooooh!” Bump! Bunter sat and roared. “That all right?” asked Bob. Page 4 of 161
Billy Bunter’s Benefit By Frank Richards “Wow-ow! Beast! Wow! Wharrer you knocking me over with your bike for, you beast?” roared Bunter. “Didn’t you ask me to?” “Ha, ha, ha!” “Some fellows are never satisfied,” said Bob. “Didn’t all you fellows hear Bunter say that he wanted to go over with my bike? Well, now he’s gone over, with my bike, and he’s still grumbling about something.” “Ha, ha, ha!” “Wow! Beast! Ow!” Harry Wharton and Co., laughing, wheeled out their machines, and mounted at the gate. Billy Bunter, apparently not satisfied with the way he had gone over roared. They pedalled away cheerfully and left him to roar. CHAPTER II BORROWING A BIKE! “SMlTHY!” “Oh! Yes!” “Stop!” “I’m going out.” “You’re not!” hooted William Wibley. Wibley made that rejoinder with great emphasis. There was a frown upon his brow which the Lord High Executioner might have envied. Wibley was wrathy. It was enough to make any producer of plays wrathy, to behold an important member of his theatrical company walking off, just when a rehearsal was due. Herbert Vernon-Smith was strolling out of the House, when Wibley spotted him. He had not spotted the Famous Five, who had started together. But he spotted Smithy, and bore down on him in wrath. “Forgotten the rehearsal?” demanded Wibley, witheringly. “It’s such a jolly fine afternoon—.” “Think you can play Claudius without rehearsing the part? One of those born actors who can pick up a part without looking at it?” “Another time, old man,” said Smithy. “I’m joining up for a spin with some fellows—.” “You’re not!” hooted Wibley. “I jolly well am!” retorted the Bounder. “You shouldn’t fix rehearsals for an afternoon like this, Wib. Save them up for a rainy day.” With that, Vernon-Smith went down the steps, Wibley glaring at the back Page 5 of 161
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Billy Bunter's Benefit By Frank Richards - Friardale

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