Billy Bunter's Benefit By Frank Richards - Friardale

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Billy Bunter’s Benefit By Frank Richards the Old Boy’s Prize. You’ve got all your work cut out to beat Linley.” “I know! But—.” “No good butting. You’ve got to write a copy of verses for the prize. You’ve got some good men to compete with. Have you done anything at it yet?” “Not yet! Give a man time to breathe.” “Look here—.” “I say, you fellows—.” “Oh, buzz off, Bunter!” snapped Wibley. “Shan’t! I say, you fellows—.” “Roll away, barrel.” “I think you might listen to a chap, when he’s in an awful hole,” said Bunter, pathetically. “I say, you fellows, I—I’m worried about paying that man Parker. I’m not the fellow to owe money, and never was—.” “Oh, my hat!” “But I’m short,” said Bunter. “And fat!” said Bob Cherry, with a nod. “The shortfulness and the fatfulness are equally terrific,” remarked Hurree Jamset Ram Singh. “Oh, really, you fellows! I mean I’m short of cash— two pounds one shilling short,” explained Bunter. “Oh, crumbs! Did you run it up to that figure at the bun-shop yesterday?” ejaculated Bob. “You fat villain, we heard about Smithy letting you have the tin, when we came in. And you blued it on tuck.” “I—I suppose you fellows couldn’t lend me two pounds one till my postalorder comes?” asked Bunter, blinking from face to face, with a not very hopeful blink. “Right in one!” grunted Johnny Bull. “You must have been oiling your supposer,” said Bob. “It’s running quite well. We couldn’t.” “Well, look here,” said Bunter. “I hear that Wharton’s going in for the Old Boy’s cash prize. You might get it, Wharton. If you go all out, you might beat that swot Linley, and the others ain’t much. If you get it, will you lend me two pounds one out of the three guineas?” “No so’s you’d notice it,” answered the captain of the Remove, laughing. “Oh, really, Wharton—.” “You fat, frabjous, frumptious frump!” hooted Wibley. “Wharton’s going in for that cash prize to help out the funds of the Remove Dramatic Society. Those three guineas are booked.” “You shut up, Wibley,” said Bunter. “I’m talking to Wharton. “Look here, Harry, old chap, I only want two pounds one. You can keep the other one Page 82 of 161
Billy Bunter’s Benefit By Frank Richards pound fifteen out of the three guineas.” “The other whatter?” ejaculated Wharton. “Ha, ha, ha!” “Blessed if I see anything to cackle at,” exclaimed Bunter, irritably. “Can’t you fellows do’ simple arithmetic? Two pounds one out of three pounds three—that leaves one pound fifteen—.” “Ha, ha, ha!” “Oh, do stop cackling!” hooted Bunter. “Look here, Harry, old fellow, we’ve been pals ever since you came to Greyfriars, haven’t we?” “Not that I know of!” “Oh. really, Wharton! How much will you lend me out of the three guinea prize if you get it?” “Nix!” “Beast! You won’t get it, anyhow,” snorted Bunter. “Linley could beat you on the back of his neck. You can’t swot like he does—he has to, because he’s hard up—he, he, he!” “You fat smudge—,” began Bob. “Oh. really. Cherry—.” “Kick him!” growled Johnny Bull. “Beast! I—I mean, look here. old chaps, I’m in an awful hole.” pleaded Bunter. “I’ve just got to raise the wind, and I can’t sell my bike now—.” “Your bike!” ejaculated Frank Nugent. “My new bike,” said Bunter. “Smithy says it’s his.” “Smithy says it’s his!” repeated Bob Cherry, gazing at the fat Owl as if Bunter mesmerised him. “Yes, and you know what Smithy is—grasping.” said Bunter, with a sad shake of the head. “I’d be willing to sell it cheap now, as I only want two pounds one, but Smithy says it’s his, and you know how selfish he is.” “Oh, crumbs!” “The fact is, I asked him about it this morning.” said Bunter. “He didn’t even answer me—he just kicked me. I suppose he was in a bad temper about something. He kicked me—.” “Jolly good idea of Smithy’s,” said Bob Cherry. “Let’s all do the same, you fellows.” “Hear, hear!” “The samefulness is the proper caper.” “All together—!” “Beasts!” roared Bunter, and he departed, without waiting for the Famous Five to follow Smithy’s example. It was a dismal and doleful fat Owl that morning. Billy Bunter, undoubtedly, was up against it: and with the selfishness to which he was Page 83 of 161
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