Billy Bunter's Benefit By Frank Richards - Friardale

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Billy Bunter’s Benefit By Frank Richards can go and eat coke! So yah!” And Billy Bunter, having expressed his lofty scorn in a final emphatic “Yah!” turned his plump back on the Famous Five, and rolled away. Whereupon they forgot his fat existence again! “I say, Smithy!” Herbert Vernon-Smith, coming out in flannels, with his bat under his arm, gave the fat Owl an impatient stare, “Buzz off!” he snapped. “Yah!” “What?” “Yah!” repeated Bunter. “You wouldn’t put me on yesterday for the twothirty! Well, I’ve done all right without you, see? I’m on. So yah!” “You blithering bandersnatch—.” “Yah! I’m on! So yah!” jeered Bunter. “I—Ow! Keep that bat away, you beast! Wow!” Bunter departed rather hastily. That afternoon, it was quite a happy Owl. It was true that his store of cash, remaining out of Smithy’s seven guineas, had been reduced to two pounds seven shillings. But that, of course, was all right. He had had to place a “quid” in Mr. Banks’ greasy hands for his bet on Spanker. But that was coming back along with his winnings: exactly enough for Mr. Parker’s bill when he received the cash. That evening he was going to collect the cash. On Monday he was going to pay Mr. Parker, and have done with him. Which really was a consummation devoutly to be wished, for he had received quite a sharp note from Mr. Parker on the subject, and it was plain that if Mr. Parker was not paid, there would be a spot of bother. It was not easy for Billy Bunter, with two pounds seven shillings in his pocket, to keep away from the tuck-shop. But, with really heroic efforts, he did so. Luckily, while the Remove fellows were at cricket, he found a cake in Vernon-Smith’s study, and a packet of toffee in Tom Brown’s, and a box of dates in Ogilvy’s. The two pounds seven shillings were still intact when the evening papers were delivered at six o’clock. Bunter was very keen to see the evening paper. He was not anxious, as there was no doubt about Spanker. He had complete faith in Snipster’s Special Snip. Still, it would be reassuring to see it in black and white. It was really just as well to know for certain that Spanker had romped home, before he called on Mr. Banks to collect his winnings. There was an evening paper in the Rag, where many fellows were interested in the cricket news. Some of them wanted to know how their counties were getting on. Billy Bunter was not in the least interested in county cricket: and he hovered impatiently while Bob Cherry read out Page 134 of 161
Billy Bunter’s Benefit By Frank Richards interesting items to a dozen fellows. “I say, Cherry, do let a fellow have a squint at that paper,” exclaimed Bunter. “Bother Surrey! Blow Middlesex! Look here, let me see that paper.” Bob stared at him for a moment, and then, remembering Spanker, grinned. “You fat ass—!” he said. “Will you gimme that paper for a minute?” hooted Bunter. “Here you are, fathead.” Bunter grabbed the paper. He knew where to look for the really interesting news. He fixed his eyes, and his spectacles, on the “Stop- Press.” F WAPSHOT, 2.30. That was it! But what followed puzzled Bunter. Hooker, Dandy Dick, Pretty Jane. Bunter blinked at that list of three. He blinked at it again. There was no mention of Spanker. It was quite perplexing. But enlightenment came, as he read a further list. It was headed: ALSO RAN. Big Bertha, Bluebottle, Huntress, Spanker, Benbow. Billy Bunter’s jaw dropped. “Oh, crikey!” he gasped. The newspaper dropped from his fat hands. Bob Cherry picket it up, and resumed county cricket. Billy Bunter did not stay to listen. He almost tottered from the Rag. Also ran! Snipster, of Sporting Snips, had not proved, after all, a quite reliable guide. Spanker, the specially selected, hadn’t romped home. He hadn’t apparently, done any romping at all, for he was not even “placed”: he had tailed off sixth or seventh. He was an “also ran.” Billy Bunter was not going to collect any winnings from Joey Banks. He was going to leave his “quid” in Joey’s greasy hands. “Oh, lor’!” moaned Bunter. There was only one thing, in the painful circumstances, that a fellow could do: at least a fellow whose name was William George Bunter. Two pounds Page 135 of 161
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Billy Bunter's Benefit By Frank Richards - Friardale

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