Billy Bunter's Benefit By Frank Richards - Friardale

Billy Bunter’s Benefit
By Frank Richards
Spanker, sir—nothing of the kind. Not—not Spanker, sir—I——I wonder
what made me s-s-ssay Spanker, sir!” gasped Bunter.
It was fortunate for Bunter that Mr. Quelch did not know—what some
members of his form could have told him!—that Spanker was a horse
engaged in the Wapshot races on Saturday. Quelch’s knowledge was
extensive, but it did not include the sport of kings.
“Bunter! I will give you one more opportunity of answering my question,
before I cane you for inattention! What king succeeded Edward the
Fourth on the throne of England?”
Bunter cudgelled his fat brains. As he had not listened to a word during
the lesson, and had no memory to speak of, he was at a loss.
“Answer me, Bunter.”
“George the Fifth, sir,” answered Bunter, taking a shot at a venture.
“What?”
“I—I mean—.” Bunter read in his form-master’s expressive countenance
that his shot had missed the mark. “I—I mean—I didn’t mean George the
Fifth, sir—I—I meant Charles the Third.”
“Charles the Third!” repeated Mr. Quelch, dazedly.
“Nunno!” Again Bunter discerned that he had missed the mark. “I—I
meant to say Alfred, sir—King Alfred, who let the cakes burn! He—he
said, ‘Kiss me, Hardy!—and—and never smiled again!” added Bunter,
perhaps hoping to placate Mr. Quelch with these historical details. Mr.
Quelch did not seem placated.
He picked up the cane from his desk.
“Stand out before the class, Bunter!” he rapped.
“Oh, lor’!”
Whop!
“Ow, wow!”
“Perhaps you will now contrive to pay a little attention during the lesson,
Bunter,” said Mr. Quelch, grimly.
“Ow, wow, ow!”
Billy Bunter did contrive to pay a little attention during the remainder of
the lesson. Exasperating as it was, the problem of getting “on” before
Spanker romped home had to be neglected till after class.
CHAPTER XXXIII
NOT ON!
“SMITHY!”
Herbert Vernon-Smith turned a deaf ear, “I say, Smithy!”
The Bounder walked on.
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