Billy Bunter's Benefit By Frank Richards - Friardale

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Billy Bunter’s Benefit By Frank Richards He also seemed peeved. Coming into the bike-shed at Greyfriars, the fat Owl of the Remove stopped in the doorway, which his ample figure almost filled from side to side. He blinked through his big spectacles at five juniors who were taking down bicycles from the stands. “I say, you fellows, you ain’t going out on your bikes, are you?” exclaimed Bunter. Harry Wharton and Co. glanced round at the fat figure in the doorway. As it was a half-holiday at Greyfriars School, and a fine sunny afternoon, there was nothing surprising, so far as they could see, in fellows wheeling out their jiggers for a spin. Neither could they see why it should worry Bunter—as apparently it did. “We are!” answered Frank Nugent. “We is!” said Bob Cherry. “But—I say—!” “Jump on your jigger and join up, Bunter,” suggested Johnny Bull, with deep sarcasm. “We’re going for a fifteen-mile run, round by Redclyffe Hill.” At which there was a chuckle in the bike-shed. A fifteen-mile run, with a steep hill thrown in, was not likely to attract Billy Bunter. A mile on a bike, on the level, was generally enough for the fat Owl, if not a little too much. “Yes, do,” said Harry Wharton, laughing. “We’ll give you a push up Redclyffe Hill, Bunter.” “The pushfulness would probably have to be terrific,” remarked Hurree Jamset Ram Singh, with a dusky grin. Sniff, from Bunter. “I could bike your heads off, and chance it,” he retorted. “But I’ve got to go over to Cliff House this afternoon to see my sister Bessie. I say, you fellows, I thought you were in the Rag. You jolly well know that Wibley’s fixed up a rehearsal for three o’clock, and you’re in it.” At which there was another chuckle. The Famous Five were all keen members of the Remove Dramatic Society. But they were not keen on sticking indoors on a sunny half-holiday when the fresh air and the open road called. William Wibley of the Remove, who was director, producer, stagemanager, and nearly everything else, in the Remove Dramatic Society, certainly had fixed a rehearsal of “Hamlet” for three. That was one of the reasons why the Famous Five were wheeling out their bikes at a quarter to three! It saved argument to be a mile or two away when Wibley rounded up his cast for rehearsal. Page 2 of 161
Billy Bunter’s Benefit By Frank Richards “Forgotten it?” demanded Bunter. “Not at all,” answered Bob Cherry. “In fact, that’s why.” “The whyfulness is terrific,” chuckled Hurree Jamset Ram Singh. “Smithy said he was coming,” remarked Harry Wharton. “But we’d better not wait. Blow out of that doorway, Bunter.” “I say, you fellows, you’d better cut in,” urged Bunter, his extensive circumference blocking the doorway. “You can’t let old Wibley down, you know. And—and—and I want to borrow a bike this afternoon, see?” “I see,” assented Harry Wharton, “and if we’d been in the Rag, you fat villain, you’d have borrowed one without asking.” “Well, which of you fellows is going to lend me a bike?” asked Bunter. “The whichfulness is terrific,” remarked Hurree Jamset Ram Singh, with a shake of his dusky head. “Can’t you ride your own, you fat ass?” asked Nugent. “How can I ride a bike when I’ve got a pedal twisted, and the mudguard loose, and the chain snapped?” demanded Bunter. “I’ve asked you to put it right for me a dozen times, Bob, but you’ve never done it. Will you lend me your bike, Nugent?” “When I want it with a pedal twisted, and the mudguard loose, and the chain snapped,’ answered Frank Nugent. “Not till then.” “Oh, really, Nugent—.” “Mind getting out of that doorway, Bunter?” asked Bob. “You’re liable to get run over if you block the traffic.” “I’ve got to go over and see Bessie!” yapped Bunter. “It’s important. I’d borrow Smithy’s machine, only he’s got such a rotten temper. And Toddy’s gone out on his, though I asked him to lend it to me. Rotten selfishness all round. I’ve got to go over to Cliff House—when a chap’s got a sister at a school only a mile away it’s up to him to look after her a bit. Mind, it isn’t because she’s had a hamper from home. I don’t know whether she’s had a hamper or not.” “Ha, ha, ha!” “Blessed if I see anything to cackle at, Will you lend me your bike, Wharton?” “Not quite!” “If you had a sister, Wharton, perhaps you’d understand a brother’s feelings,” said Bunter scornfully. “It’s my duty as Bessie’s elder brother to keep an eye on that hamper—I mean, on Bessie. What about your bike, Bob? You can put down the saddle for me, as I’m not a long-legged giraffe like you.” “You put it so nicely,” said Bob. “But the answer’s in the jolly old negative.” “What about your bike, Bull?” Page 3 of 161
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Billy Bunter's Benefit By Frank Richards - Friardale

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