Billy Bunter's Benefit By Frank Richards - Friardale

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Billy Bunter’s Benefit By Frank Richards Wun Lung. What about him?” “Oh, crumbs! I’ve got to pay a bill, and I want my pals to lend me some money, see?” howled Bunter. “Well, I haven’t got any honey. Have you, Peter?” “Ha, ha! No!” gasped Peter. “Not honey—money!” yelled Bunter. “Nothing funny about honey that I know of. What’s funny about it?” asked Dutton, “Oh, scissors! Look here, you deaf ass—I mean, look here, old chap! I’ve got to raise some money. Will you lend me some money?” “How can I, when I don’t keep rabbits?” asked Dutton, “Rabbits!” gasped Bunter. “Not that I’d lend you a bunny, if I had dozens,” added Dutton. “You wouldn’t take proper care of it. You’re too lazy.” “Money!” yelled Bunter. “M-U-N-N-Y, money. Got that?” “Eh! Oh! No! I haven’t got any money,” answered Dutton. “I wouldn’t lend you any if I had! You haven’t squared the half-crown I lent you last week. Look here, don’t jaw while a fellow’s doing his prep.” “Beast! Prep went on in No. 7 Study, so far as two fellows were concerned. Billy Bunter, regardless of prep, and of Quelch in the morning, sat and pondered over his problem. He had pondered over it a good deal already, without much result. He had, however, realised that he couldn’t keep a bike for which he couldn’t pay. He would gladly have got rid of the whole affair, by wheeling the bike back to Parker’s—if there had been hope that Mr. Parker would. take back a muddy bike with a buckled mudguard and call off the transaction. Alternatively, he was prepared to pass on the bike to any Remove fellow who would take it and the bill along with it. Such a Remove fellow, however, seemed to need finding. Bunter had not found one yet. “I say, Peter—,” Bunter got going again. “O lux Dardaniae—,” said Peter. “Eh! What are you talking about?” snapped Bunter. “Hector of Troy,” answered Peter. “You silly fathead, blow Hector of Troy. I say, Peter, I shall have to sell that bike.” “Spes O fidissima Teucrum—,” “Beast!” Peter grinned, and went on with Virgil. Billy Bunter, utterly uninterested in Hector or any other Trojan, dipped pen in ink, and proceeded to scrawl on a sheet of impot paper. He produced the following: Page 44 of 161
Billy Bunter’s Benefit By Frank Richards BIKE FOR SAIL! Splendid Valew. No. 7 Studdy. Onley seven ginnis. When prep was over, and the Remove fellows went down, Billy Bunter posted that notice on the wall in the Rag. Quite a number of fellows came to look at it. Most of them seemed to find it amusing. There was a good deal of laughter. But there were no offers for the bike. When the Remove went to their dormitory that night, Bunter’s new bike was still for sale. CHAPTER XII HELPING BUNTER OUT! “HARRY, old chap—.” Harry Wharton laughed. “Do you think Parker would take sixpence to settle his account, Bunter?” he asked. “Eh! No! Of course, he wouldn’t.” “Then it’s no use calling me Harry old chap! I’m down to a tanner.” “Oh, really, Wharton—.” It was Tuesday. The sun had gone down on Billy Bunter’s problem, and risen on it, unsolved. Bunter’s financial state was now, in fact, worse than before: for he had expended his twopence. “You see, the man’s got to be paid,” said Bunter, blinking at the captain of the Remove. “You know what these shopkeepers are—sordid! They think about nothing but money. If I don’t pay him, he will make a fuss.” “Bank on that,” agreed Harry. “Of course, I’d pay him like a shot,” said Bunter, “I’m not a fellow to owe money, as you know—.” “Ye gods!” “Only I haven’t any money,” explained Bunter. “Well, I don’t want Parker going to Quelch, or the Head! It would mean an awful row.” “Tremendous,” assented Harry. “I’m going to sell the bike,” went on Bunter. “That’s the only thing I can think of. It’s tough—I want it. A fellow wants a bike! Still, it’s got to be paid for, and that looks like the only way.” “You can’t sell an article you haven’t paid for,” said Harry. “People go to Page 45 of 161
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