Billy Bunter's Benefit By Frank Richards - Friardale

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Billy Bunter’s Benefit By Frank Richards “Ha, ha, ha!” “Don’t cackle while I’m doing Hamlet’s soliloquy,” said Coker, testily. “This isn’t comic—it’s a very serious soliloquy. Shut up. Now, I’ll give you that bit over again—listen this time without interrupting.” The cake was finished. But there still remained some dough-nuts. The Stage Club proceeded with the doughnuts, while Coker proceeded with the soliloquy. They let him run on without interrupting this time. Uninterrupted, it was sooner over. “To be or not to be, that is the question, Whether ‘tis nobler in the mind to suffer The wings and sparrows of outrageous fortune Or to take arms against a sea of bubbles And by composing, mend them!” “There!” said Coker. “That’s just a sample—but it will show you how Shakespeare ought to be handled. You can pick up the hang of the thing by keeping an eye on me. Now, if you fellows have finished feeding, we’ll get the parts out.” The fellows had finished feeding. There was nothing left in the hamper, and the table was bare. Fitzgerald was edging towards the door. Tomlinson was looking at it. Price looked at his watch. “By gum! Hilton will be waiting for me!” he ejaculated. “Never mind Hilton,” said Coker, testily. “We’ve got to arrange the parts. Look here, Pricey—.” Pricey did not look there. He departed in haste. His interest in the Bard of Avon seemed to have disappeared with the last doughnut. Coker snorted, “Don’t any more of you go,” he snapped. “It’s another hour to prep, and that’s none too much time for me to tell you what you’ve got to do, and show you how to do it.” “My lines!” exclaimed Fitzgerald, suddenly. “You’ll learn your lines later, after we’ve written out the parts—.” “I mean my lines for Prout—.” “Blow Prout!” “Well, he’s our beak, you know, and he will be shirty if I don’t hand them in before prep.” “Look here, Fitz—.” Fitz, like Pricey, failed to “look there.” He departed in haste. “Blessed if I hadn’t forgotten that problem I’ve got to do for Lascelles!” exclaimed Tomlinson. “I shall have to cut, Coker.” And he cut, without waiting for a reply. Jones major followed him out, Page 32 of 161
Billy Bunter’s Benefit By Frank Richards without even proffering lines or a problem as a reason for so doing. Potter and Greene remained, exchanging glances. “Well, my hat!” said Coker. “I like that!” “Not much good going on with it now,” remarked Potter, casually. “And— and I forgot I’ve got to see Blundell, about the cricket—.” “By gum! So had I!” exclaimed Greene. “He’ll be Waiting for us in the games-study. Come on,” “Look here—!” roared Coker. He roared at two departing backs. The meeting of the Stage Club had broken up quite suddenly. Coker, who had been prepared to expend a whole hour of his valuable time in explaining, instructing, and coaching, was left on his own. Further business of the Fifth-form Stage Club was unavoidably postponed—probably till Coker had another hamper! CHAPTER IX BILLY AND A LITTLE BILL! “How many L’s in ‘wonderful,’ Toddy?” “One for choice.” “Sure?” asked Billy Bunter, doubtfully. “Sort of,” grinned Peter. “Of course, you could put in two if you liked—or three! Or half-a-dozen.” “Well, look here, look it out in the dick, will you, old chap?” “Ha, ha, ha!” roared Peter. “Blessed if I see anything to cackle at! You can’t spell for toffee,” snapped Bunter. “I want to get this right. You can’t be too careful when you’re sending a bill home. I don’t suppose the pater will be pleased, anyhow—he hates bills. You should hear him on Income Tax!” It was the day after Billy Bunter had propounded his remarkable scheme to the Famous Five. That remarkable scheme was now in progress. So far, it had been quite easy. Indeed it proved so easy—so far! —that Bunter really wondered why he had not thought of it before. He had wanted a new bike for a long time. Now he had one. All that had been needed—so far!—was to wait till Mr. Quelch was at a safe distance from his study, in order to borrow his telephone. A phone call to Parker’s in Courtfield had done the trick. Mr. Parker, naturally, had no doubts in the matter. He was more than willing to supply a bicycle to a Greyfriars fellow who ordered one. Prompt delivery being required, Mr. Parker had delivered promptly. Mr. Parker’s young man had cycled over to the school, leading the new Speedster by Page 33 of 161
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Billy Bunter's Benefit By Frank Richards - Friardale

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