Billy Bunter's Benefit By Frank Richards - Friardale

Billy Bunter’s Benefit
By Frank Richards
Mr. Capper gasped.
Mr. Twigg seemed to choke.
All these unusual manifestations came at the same time—most unusual
indeed, at a Masters’ Meeting, presided over by the head-master in
person.
But the circumstances were unusual. Many a masters’ meeting had been
held at Greyfriars School: and if the proceedings were, as Coker had
declared, characterised by “jaw, jaw, jaw,” nevertheless they were always
conducted with decorum, if not solemnity. On the present occasion, for
the first time in history, decorum was difficult to observe, and solemnity
was absolutely out of the question.
How could even a Masters’ Meeting remain either decorous or solemn,
with a queer vapour beginning to float in the air, and a strange, horrid,
noxious smell penetrating every corner of the room?
At a Masters’ Meeting at Greyfriars, the head-master sat at the head of
the long oval mahogany table in Common-Room. Along either side of the
same sat the form-masters. Other masters of lesser account sat around,
anywhere they liked. Polished courtesy from the Head, polite respect
from the staff, distinguished the proceedings. Items on the agenda were
taken in dignified succession. That was as it should be—but for once
things were not as they should have been.
Something was amiss!
From the great fireplace, empty save for a bowl of flowers, a sort of
smoky vapour stole forth. The assembled beaks did not notice that for
the moment. What they noticed was the smell.
Prout got the first real whiff, and coughed. He coughed again. Then he
spluttered But they all got some of it. It was amazing-disconcertingupsetting-unaccountable!
But there it was!
“The drains!” muttered Mr. Hacker.
“I have never noticed anything of the kind before,” breathed Mr.
Wiggins. “But—but—dear me!”
Dr. Locke had been sneaking. But having ejaculated, quite suddenly, “Bless
my soul!” he ceased to speak. He seemed deeply perturbed.
Mr. Quelch sniffed. He had suppressed the first sniff: but the second
escaped him. Dr. Locke glanced at him.
“Do you notice—?” he asked.
“Indeed, I do, sir,” answered Mr. Quelch. “It is very strange—very odd,
indeed—but—but something—.”
“Extraordinary!” said Mr. Prout. He spluttered. “I may say—grooogh! —
ooogh! —woogh! —unparalleled.”
“An extraordinary scent—.” said Mr. Twigg.
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