Billy Bunter's Benefit By Frank Richards - Friardale

Billy Bunter’s Benefit
By Frank Richards
can go and eat coke! So yah!”
And Billy Bunter, having expressed his lofty scorn in a final emphatic
“Yah!” turned his plump back on the Famous Five, and rolled away.
Whereupon they forgot his fat existence again!
“I say, Smithy!”
Herbert Vernon-Smith, coming out in flannels, with his bat under his arm,
gave the fat Owl an impatient stare,
“Buzz off!” he snapped.
“Yah!”
“What?”
“Yah!” repeated Bunter. “You wouldn’t put me on yesterday for the twothirty!
Well, I’ve done all right without you, see? I’m on. So yah!”
“You blithering bandersnatch—.”
“Yah! I’m on! So yah!” jeered Bunter. “I—Ow! Keep that bat away, you
beast! Wow!”
Bunter departed rather hastily.
That afternoon, it was quite a happy Owl. It was true that his store of
cash, remaining out of Smithy’s seven guineas, had been reduced to two
pounds seven shillings. But that, of course, was all right. He had had to
place a “quid” in Mr. Banks’ greasy hands for his bet on Spanker. But that
was coming back along with his winnings: exactly enough for Mr. Parker’s
bill when he received the cash. That evening he was going to collect the
cash. On Monday he was going to pay Mr. Parker, and have done with him.
Which really was a consummation devoutly to be wished, for he had
received quite a sharp note from Mr. Parker on the subject, and it was
plain that if Mr. Parker was not paid, there would be a spot of bother.
It was not easy for Billy Bunter, with two pounds seven shillings in his
pocket, to keep away from the tuck-shop. But, with really heroic efforts,
he did so. Luckily, while the Remove fellows were at cricket, he found a
cake in Vernon-Smith’s study, and a packet of toffee in Tom Brown’s, and
a box of dates in Ogilvy’s. The two pounds seven shillings were still intact
when the evening papers were delivered at six o’clock.
Bunter was very keen to see the evening paper. He was not anxious, as
there was no doubt about Spanker. He had complete faith in Snipster’s
Special Snip. Still, it would be reassuring to see it in black and white. It
was really just as well to know for certain that Spanker had romped
home, before he called on Mr. Banks to collect his winnings.
There was an evening paper in the Rag, where many fellows were
interested in the cricket news. Some of them wanted to know how their
counties were getting on. Billy Bunter was not in the least interested in
county cricket: and he hovered impatiently while Bob Cherry read out
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