Billy Bunter's Benefit By Frank Richards - Friardale

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Billy Bunter’s Benefit By Frank Richards think when a chap’s going to get a new bike, his pals might be willing to give him a spot of advice.” The Famous Five were not deaf to that appeal. They knew all about bikes, and certainly they were willing to give the fat Owl the benefit of their knowledge, if he Wanted it. “Oh, all right,” said Harry Wharton. “Carry on, Bunter.” “Well, look at this,” said Bunter. He produced a newspaper, a copy of the Courtfield and Friardale Gazette, and held it up, indicating an advertisement with a fat finger. Harry Wharton and Co. looked. They read: SPLENDID VALUE. The Speedster Bicycle ONLY SEVEN GUINEAS, Parker’s. Courtfield. “What do you fellows think of that?” asked Bunter, “O.K.,” said Bob, “I’ve seen them at Parker’s shop in Courtfield, and they’re jolly good machines. Parker’s a straight man, too. You couldn’t do better.” “Well, I think the machine’s all right,” said Bunter “I’ve decided to have it, in fact. But—.” He paused. The Famous Five smiled. The “Speedster” at sever guineas was undoubtedly good value, perhaps even splendid value, as the advertisement stated. But if William George Bunter of the Remove was in possession of the necessary seven guineas for the purchase thereof, he was in a happy financial state never known heretofore. Few Greyfriars fellows were in a position to expend such a sum, without assistance from the old folks at home. And the fact that Mr. Bunter, at Bunter Villa, carefully avoided the subject did not look promising for Bunter. “It’s a bit awkward,” went on Bunter. “I want a bike— and that’s a good bike for the money—only—only——.’ “Only Parker would want to be paid for it!” suggested Johnny Bull, sarcastically. “Quite awkward.” “The awkwardness is terrific.” “Well, the pater hasn’t said that he won’t pay for it, said Bunter, “He hasn’t said that he will, but he hasn’t said that he won’t. He just said nothing about it at all. That’s what I want your advice about. Suppose I get the bike, and send the bill home.” “Oh, my hat!” ejaculated Bob, “You’d better put your pater wise first, you fat ass.” Page 26 of 161
Billy Bunter’s Benefit By Frank Richards “Yes, rather,” said Harry Wharton, “The ratherfulness is preposterous.” “Well, a fellow has to have a bike,” argued Bunter “And if he just gets it, and sends the bill home, that’s what the French call a fat accomplice, isn’t it?” “A whatter?” gasped Bob, “A fat accomplice—that means an accomplished fact explained Bunter, with an air of superior knowledge. “Ha, ha, ha!” “Blessed if I see anything to cackle at! You see, with the bike here, and the bill sent home, the pater will be faced with a fat accomplice—.” “Ha, ha, ha!” shrieked the Famous Five. “Oh, really, you fellows—.” “Perhaps you mean a fait accompli!” gasped Harry Wharton. “If you think you can teach me French, Wharton—.” “Ha, ha, ha!” “Oh, do stop cackling! Look here, I’m going to get the bike, and send the bill home, and then it will be a fat accomplice—or an accomplished fact, if you don’t understand French,” said Bunter, scornfully. “Now, what do you fellows think of the idea?” Billy Bunter grinned inquiringly at the grinning five. Evidently it was the fat Owl’s idea to face Mr. Bunter with a fait accompli, and leave him to deal with the cycle merchant in Courtfield. This, apparently, seemed to Bunter a very, bright idea. But he seemed to have a lingering doubt. He wanted the advice of the Famous Five, not about the bike itself, but about this rather extraordinary means of becoming the possessor of one! “Think it’s a good idea?” he asked. “I don’t see what the pater can do except pay up, when it’s a fat accomplice.” “You utter chump!” said Harry Wharton. “Don’t do anything of the kind. I don’t know how any fellow’s pater would deal with a fait accompli of that kind—and I shouldn’t like to try the experiment.” “Wash it out, you awful ass,” said Bob Cherry. “Forget all about it,” said Frank Nugent. “The forgetfulness all about it is the proper caper, my esteemed idiotic Bunter.” “Chuck it at that, you silly owl!” growled Johnny Bull. Sniff from Bunter. He had asked the advice of the Famous Five. But, like many people who ask advice, Bunter wanted that advice to coincide with what he had already decided to do. Adverse advice was only irritating. If that’s all you’ve got to say, I needn’t have taken the trouble to come Page 27 of 161
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Billy Bunter's Benefit By Frank Richards - Friardale

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