Billy Bunter's Benefit By Frank Richards - Friardale

Billy Bunter’s Benefit
By Frank Richards
Peter gazed at him. Peter was one of the Remove fellows from whom the
fat Owl had sought to borrow a humble “bob” that day. And here was
Bunter, with a sum of money running into pounds. For a moment or two,
Peter was astonished. Then he guessed. Peter.
“You fat chump! Haven’t you paid Parker after all?” he exclaimed.
“I—I was going to, Peter. But—,”
“You unspeakable ass,” said Peter. “Didn’t you go to Courtfield?”
“Oh! Yes! But—.”
“Then why haven’t you paid Parker? Do you want him to go to the Head?”
“I—I—-I—-,” stammered Bunter. “I—I haven’t got it quite right, Peter.
I—I haven’t enough to pay Parker.”
“That’s rot! Smithy gave you the exact amount— seven pounds seven
shillings,” answered Peter. “I saw him, and a dozen other fellows saw him.
I lent you twopence for the bus. You had only to go straight to Parker’s
and pay him.”
“Yes. But—.”
“Have you lost some of it, or what?”
“Oh! Yes!” Bunter jumped at that, like a drowning man at a straw. “I—I—
I’ve lost some—there’s a lining in the hole in my pocket—.”
“What!”
“I mean a hole in the lining in my pocket. I—I had it in—in this pocket,
Peter, but—but there is a great big hole in the lining, and—and—it went.
Can you lend me twenty-seven and six, Peter?”
“You’re twenty-seven and six short!” exclaimed Peter, aghast.
“I—I think so. I’m just trying to get it right.” explained Bunter.
“Oh, you fathead! You champion chump!” -
“Oh, really, Toddy! Tain’t my fault there’s a lining in my jacket—I mean a
jacket in my lining—I mean—.”
“Didn’t you know there was a hole in your pocket, ass?”
“Nunno! I—I’d never noticed it! I—I never knew anything about a hole in
this pocket, Peter.”
Which was perfectly true. Bunter had known nothing about a hole in the
lining of that pocket. There wasn’t one!
He sagely decided not to mention the bun-shop to Peter. Peter was not
likely to feel very sympathetic if he knew that the missing sum had gone
on sponge cakes and jam tarts and other such sticky things.
Bunter realised only too clearly that he was in a scrape again, with a
shortage of the sum due to Mr. Parker.
At the bun-shop he had dismissed such sordid considerations from his fat
mind. He had revelled royally in very attractive and very expensive
comestibles, hardly realising how his bill was piling up. It had piled up to
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