The Health bulletin [serial] - University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill

January, 1927 The Health Bulletin 13
tude so he never knows what to expect
Keeping him overexcited Not
giving him enough rest Giving him his
way when he has a tantrum Bribing
him to stop
The Consfant Use of Temper Tantrums
By a Child Is Ahcays the Fault
of The Parent
A certain proportion of temper tantrums
are due to physical illness, but
the vast majority are due to methods
of handling. Whom shall the child pattern
after, if not the parents Did you
ever stop to think what wintry bleakness
surrounds the child if the parents
are selfish, inconsiderate of each other
and the children, fly into violent rages,
repress all play and affection They
ii-ill be like you—much more so than
you think. Indeed, grandmother can
often tell you just how much they are
as you were at their age ! So they will
imitate your temper reactions. Or, if
they are all set and ready to do something
and you simply say "no," giving
them no outlet, they have some energy
ready to go somewhere. So it often
goes into temper.
Tantrums are usually developed as a
means of gaining an end. As an infant,
crying attracts attention of various
kinds. Later this is not enough, and
the child develops a temper, which
forces submission from the adults. It
is used more and more and becomes
an established habit of reaction. It
may readily be avoided. Set no pattern.
Do not yield just because the baby cries
or has a tantrum. Be firm and fair
and calm. Do not irritate the child just
because you are irritable. Ignore the
tantrum when it occurs, and keep on
ignoring it until the child quits using
it as a weapon. For that is what it
is—a weapon. Meanwhile, be sure the
child has enough rest, sleep, play, and
food. The overtired, overstimulated
child is irritable and overactive, which
produces more fatigue. Above all, do
not bribe the child or try physical
punishment. Ignore the tantrum ; but
be sure you do not continue to set the
example. It will take courage to
straighten out yourself ; but it is vastly
worth while.
When Joseph was a baby, his mother
rocked, him to sleep every night, often
spending most of the night rocking him.
Thus a fussy baby became conditioned
to get everything he wanted by crying
and rousing the house. Joseph's father
is an irritable, morose man, who is
annoyed by many trifles. Then he bangs
the table, breaks dishes, beats Joseph
unmercifully for minor offenses, and
otherwise makes a great display. So
Joseph copies him and tries to wreak
his will and vengeance in the same way.
And thus he becomes a clinic problem
in treatment—a most difficult one in
view of the example set.
4. Dishonesty
Do I Cause My Child To Be Dishonest
By: Lying to him Lying to others
in his presence: Over stimulating his
imagination Evading his questions
Telling him ANYTHING to get him to
do what I want him to do Boasting
before him of some dishonest practice
by which I gained an advantage Refusing
him most of the things he wants
Dealing out harsh treatment for minor
offenses Repressing all natural outlets
for activity Shielding him from
all consequences of his dishonesty
Stealing, or actions which he interprets
as stealing Making a hero of someone
noted for dishonesty
It Is Remarkably Easy to he Dishonest,
Even With One's Self
The habit of lying is always built up
in response to the environment. Parents
who are harsh in discipline, who do
not stop to distinguish between the
trivial and the great, between unavoidable
mistakes and direct disobedience,
who constantly expect lying (usually
because of their own), are apt to have
children who lie. As between telling the
truth, with consequent severe discipline,
and telling a lie, which may carry
through, which would be the common
choice Many lies are expressed in the
cradle, as Mark Twain said. The unhurt
baby cries for attention—and gets
it; all sorts of reactions later develop.
Some lying has its roots in the imagination.
The imaginative life of the
child is highly developed. In his play
he constantly builds up his inner
fancies to a point where his desires and
pleasures become real to him, So, too,
can he deny the unpleasant, just by
words of his own arranging. In these
ways we get the erection of fabrica-