The Health bulletin [serial] - University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill

I
October, 1927 The Health Bulleti]:^ 19
she not choose the better way Because
she "got a kick out of showing
him off to the crowd." That was her
fun, not his.
Dictum 3
When ice give a child something to
do that is heyond his capacity we
hinder his progress.
Why We fail to give him work that
he can do that will help him develop.
Invariably, as a result, he will "kill
time'' and turn away from his job. He
will get the habit of "killing time"
when any job comes along, or he will
look for a "boost" to make up for the
disappointment born of failure to do
the original task. These "boosts" are
usually had by taking unfair advantage
of others.
Example : John was an average boy
but his mother got a thrill out of thinking
him a budding genius. She made
special efforts to get him advanced in
school. Against the advice of his
teacher he skipped his grade because
his father had "pull." John could not
carry the new work. In each class he
arrived at the end of his rope in a
short time. He developed the habit of
loafing and fooling away his time. It
annoyed others in the class. He realized
he was failing and made up for it
by cheating. Why did John's mother
want him to do the next grade Why
would she not recognize him as just
an average boy For the same reason
that she had to "show him off" when
company came Was it for John or
herself Certainly not for John. Don't
be ashamed of your child's capacity. If
he has the capacity to be a taxi driver
rather than a college president, at least
make him a good taxi driver. If he is
driven to the impossible ambition of
becoming a college president he will
have nothing to depend on and will
likely become your permanent boarder
or an unhappy misfit in whatever job
he gets.
Dictum 4
Whenever ice handk a proilem of
childhood according to the impulse of
the moment, we are apt to do so in a
way that is erratic, inconsistent and
destructive of the morale of the child.
Why The child is not just a basketful
of behavior, or a series of separate
and unrelated actions, different on different
occasions. His way of behaving
is closely linked up with him and his
make-up. It follows the pattern of his
personality consistently and closely.
When we are inconsistent with him we
are throwing a monkey wrench into his
machinery. It is like pouring grapes
into a cotton gin and expecting good
grape juice to come out. We must have
a basic philosophy, a fundamental life
aim, and a sound knowledge of the
child's potentialities. We must establish
a policy and stick to it until it proves
itself inadequate. When we change our
policy our reasons for the change must
be made clear to the child ; otherwise
our mandates will vary with our moods
and fickle desires, to his detriment and
our own regret.
Example: John's mother ruled that
he must not get up from the table during
a meal unless necessary, in w-hich
case he must ask her. But five times
out of six, when he disregarded the
rule, she said nothing about it, making
a great uproar the sixth time only because
he broke a dish or spilled the
beans. John never knew where he
stood. To John the kitchen stove was
more sensible; since the first warning
of its burning flame, that fixtures had
had a perfect understanding with the
boy, and he respected it. When he
wanted to do something which involved
the danger of burns from the stove, he
did not hesitate, or question the stove,
or wonder what mood it was in, or
stop to see if the stove were looking,
nor did he become emotionally upset or
sullen. He proceeded cautiously to gain
his end without disrespect for the
qualities of the stove.
Dictum 5
Whenever our idea of good or bad
hehavior is determined iy what annoys
us and "gets on our nerves," we
are uselessly training the child to conform
to our own life-pattern.
Why Such training will be as
valuable as a leaden quarter to him
later. What annoys us is, in truth,
often the thing that reveals and proceeds
from weaknesses and twists in
our own character. If we train the
child merely to suit us we often model
him after a warped pattern. In adult