# HIV HEROES

88
months to monitor the medication
and its impact on the virus and on my
body, and to check on other potential
threats. My virus load has been under
the detection limit for nine months—
meaning that I can even have uninfected
children, and that even if I had
unprotected sex, the chances of me
infecting anyone would be minimal.
Should a condom burst, my doctor
mentioned that he wouldn’t even see
post-exposition prophylaxis as necessary.
I am more informed of what I do
and do not have than most other people
out there. If I were to meet a woman,
I would be her safest bet simply
because of my knowledge of what I
have and what I can and cannot do.
There are other STDs out there—ones
which, because of my regular updates,
I know I do not carry. How many people
can say that of themselves? And
yet the fear of infecting someone still
weighs on me. I carry a new sense of
responsibility towards myself and especially
towards others.
Basic knowledge
The half-knowledge that other people,
particularly in my generation, have
acquired is one of the biggest difficulties
when confronted with being HIV
positive. Having grown up with the
death of Freddy Mercury and films
like Philadelphia, the predominant
message associated with HIV in our
teenage years was that it caused a
long and horrible death. This imagery
is still very present, especially in heterosexual
surroundings. The difference
between the knowledge of HIV within
the heterosexual community, in comparison
with the homosexual one, is
massive. Being a heterosexual male,
this came as surprising and slightly alienating.
I’ve come to realize that the
topic of HIV is simply more common in
the homosexual community, where the
perception of the disease—as well as
its implications, treatments and consequences—is
based on much greater
knowledge than that found in heterosexual
surroundings.
Topics like the “detection limit”,
“post-exposition prophylaxis” and the
fact that HIV has become a chronic disease
and not a deadly one are common
knowledge to my homosexual
friends but need a lot of explanation
to my hetero ones.
The positive impact of the medication
and its effects—such as
being able to have children
and to avoid infecting
someone—have simply
not widely reached the
heterosexual community.
After my being infected
led me to doing research,
my reaction was similar
to that of my friends. I'd
simply had no idea of the medical advances
that have happened in the last
years. Surprised about the idea that
having children isn’t even a problem
anymore, a comforting “wow” was
one of the first reactions I always received.
And of course, a “thank god
for medicine…”.
Although my homosexual friends have
been of great assistance, topics like
having children, speaking to women
about the virus and simply the “nonthreat”
of the disease are things I have
been struggling with by myself and
have admittedly been very lonely with.
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