Notes from the Dream (circa 1982-1986) - Stephen H. Wolinsky Ph. D.

More documents

Recommendations

Info

It was not until much later after many yearsof psychotherapy that I realized how the littleboy and internalized father dominated my lifeand created my inner voice which projectedonto the world my internalized dad with all hisand society’s rules and standards (how to beappropriate and fit-in), and, I had remained thelittle boy.The awareness of that interaction and its effectfollowed me like an unwelcomed guest.I had come to realize years later that theinternalized dad, (with all his be good andget good things, (which were societal valuesand rules like be loving, kind, forgiving,obedient etc.) had unknowingly been fusedwith the “observer” or inner” witness”, Laterthese values which had been taken on were“spiritualized”, (made spiritual).This silent inner observer or inner witness alsowas fused with an internalized parent whichwatched me play the role, the act, the gameof life, and judged and evaluated what hadhappened, how I had doneothers reactions andThis silent inner observer or inner witnesswhich had also been fused with an internalizedparent watched, futurized and rehersed a planon how to prepare for future circumstances.This convoluted observer or witness later,unknowingly became spiritualized.19
Deep downI could not believe in the game of life and I didnot and could not participate in a life that I wasdisconnected from.Whose rules were these anyway?Words would come out of my mouth,whichwere on automaticlike a computer software package.Inwardly feeling distantEmptySeparateMiss-understoodAnd aloneI knew I was not this act which I had become,but now somehow believed I was the act, andit seemed like my survival depended on thesurvival of this act and image and value systemI had taken on..20
Page 2 and 3: NotesFromThe DreamCirca 1982-1986Or
Page 4 and 5: DedicationTo NityanandaTo Sri Nisar
Page 6 and 7: “We are such stuff that dreams ar
Page 8: A Historical StoryAbout the TextIn
Page 11 and 12: as well as the extreme difficulty i
Page 13 and 14: The Dream YogaPart IFrom the Six Yo
Page 15 and 16: I felt like what Martin Heidegger h
Page 17 and 18: I had spent my life-time trying to
Page 19: An “I” which believed wholehear
Page 23 and 24: accepted, and be loved.The problem
Page 25 and 26: The dreamWithinTheDreamIIIThey are
Page 27 and 28: enabling me to feel nothing at all
Page 29 and 30: say what I was feeling without inte
Page 31 and 32: The dreamWithinTheDreamVJacque Derr
Page 33 and 34: self-actualization contained within
Page 35 and 36: I felt like I was in a place over h
Page 37 and 38: The dreamWithinTheDreamVII“Every
Page 39 and 40: uised images that had been created,
Page 41 and 42: Lying there facing what I perceived
Page 43 and 44: of time and motion. I truly could n
Page 45 and 46: The dreamWithinTheDreamIXThe Not-I-
Page 47 and 48: ubble enquiring “Who am I?” was
Page 49 and 50: I became aware of the “emptiness
Page 51 and 52: The dreamWithinTheDreamXBuddhism: A
Page 53 and 54: knew exactly what it was supposed t
Page 55 and 56: The dreamWithinTheDreamXIThrough th
Page 57 and 58: ecause as the emptiness there was n
Page 59 and 60: Yet, it was clear that everything w
Page 61 and 62: ackground of the emptiness along wi
Page 63 and 64: Unexpectedly in the distance there
Page 65 and 66: In one Quantum-bubble-realm which a
Page 67: In one bubble the concept of the ob
Page 70 and 71:
comes into your awareness, the ques
Page 72 and 73:
actually did not exist outside of a
Page 74 and 75:
A bubble called what will the futur
Page 76 and 77:
I began to just want the bubbles to
Page 78 and 79:
A thought arose “Where is your bo
Page 80 and 81:
Why?“I” realized that with each
Page 82 and 83:
The dreamWithinTheDreamXVIII“Ever
Page 84 and 85:
I spent what seemed like years in t
Page 86 and 87:
My story was that Spiritual Paths e
Page 88 and 89:
As the Not-I-I state looked “back
Page 90 and 91:
“Consciousness is emptinessEmptin
Page 92 and 93:
(whatever THAT was).In this way wit
Page 94 and 95:
The dreamWithinTheDreamXIXTHE HEART
Page 96 and 97:
Next:appreciate that “your heart
Page 98 and 99:
The second chakra is about four fin
Page 100 and 101:
You might even hear a clap of light
Page 102 and 103:
were like rays of the sun getting m
Page 104 and 105:
And, that each bubble universe I en
Page 106 and 107:
She continued, “Feel your body ag
Page 108 and 109:
Meditate: Visualize the elements (a
Page 110 and 111:
The dreamWithinTheDreamXXIIIThe Voi
Page 112 and 113:
Consciousness is the basic substanc
Page 114 and 115:
He continued reading and then speak
Page 116 and 117:
meditation bubble-realm. Remaining
Page 118 and 119:
ubble-realms that arose and subside
Page 120 and 121:
etween state the Buddhists called t
Page 122 and 123:
Then:The explicate perceivable worl
Page 124 and 125:
more aware of.Soon I was drawn into
Page 126 and 127:
the ocean, like closing the eyelids
Page 128 and 129:
space in an attempt to get to their
Page 130 and 131:
The dreamWithinTheDreamXXVIThe I am
Page 132 and 133:
space, mass, and time of the explic
Page 134 and 135:
and associations and our feeling of
Page 136 and 137:
I began to wonder, what am I missin
Page 138 and 139:
The dreamWithinTheDreamXXVIII“Eve
Page 140 and 141:
The dreamWithinTheDreamXXIXDristi S
Page 142 and 143:
which appeared gave the illusion of
Page 144 and 145:
Awareness as the lens or veil can b
Page 146 and 147:
Through the lens of awareness the e
Page 148 and 149:
The dreamWithinTheDreamXXI“There
Page 150 and 151:
Surround the cremated body with “
Page 152 and 153:
this Bohm called the explicate orde
Page 154 and 155:
The “perceived” concept called
Page 156 and 157:
The Eight Negations of NagarjunaThe
Page 158 and 159:
The Emptiness Bubble:The emptiness
Page 160 and 161:
It was a “light” that lie betwe
Page 162 and 163:
“Everything has Buddha nature.”
Page 164 and 165:
nucleus then there was between the
Page 166 and 167:
Waking DreamsIIIShiva Sutras: “Th
Page 168 and 169:
Waking DreamsIVThe Vijnana Bhairava
Page 170 and 171:
Waking DreamsVThe Shiva SutrasConte
Page 172 and 173:
Once again the “I” label vanish
Page 174 and 175:
There is no witness and there is no
Page 176 and 177:
Waking DreamsVIIIWithout eyesWithou
Page 178 and 179:
Emptiness means withoutNirvana is w
Page 180 and 181:
the voidness of voidthe nonexistent
Page 182 and 183:
This accounts for the germination o
Page 184 and 185:
Waking DreamsXThe “I” label dis
Page 186 and 187:
(nature), which too was nonexistent
Page 188 and 189:
The “I” was an illusion!Even if
Page 190 and 191:
What’s left is not even the aware
Page 192 and 193:
Waking DreamsXIIThe Not-I-I state a
Page 194 and 195:
Waking DreamsXIIIThe enfolding and
Page 196 and 197:
Waking DreamsXIV“Nothing is.” N
Page 198 and 199:
See the dream as consciousnessSee t
Page 200 and 201:
The perceiver or knower of the void
Page 202:
THE ENDOf THE NON-LINEARTHE STORY20
show all

Notes from the Dream (circa 1982-1986) - Stephen H. Wolinsky Ph. D.

You also want an ePaper? Increase the reach of your titles

Delete template?

Save as template?