Notes from the Dream (circa 1982-1986) - Stephen H. Wolinsky Ph. D.

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which covered or were on top of the emptinessportal.Peeling back these layers which seemed likejust labels,labels called pain,labels called fear,then labels called frustration,then labels called anger,then the dead space which deadened theemptiness.I dove or floated “backward” or “down” or“through” the portal like entering a black holeLike Alice in Wonderland falling through therabbit hole I was slowly sinking into a voidwhich felt like a sea of emptiness that had noquality or form.At first I resisted.So many bubbles surrounded meit was like “dropping” through an ocean“made of nothingness”.I began to imagine I would be coming tothe bottom, (like the bottom of a lake) soonwhereby I could push off and make my wayback to the top of the empty-ocean.Although all around me were bubbles andthe emptiness, I had somehow lost my sense41
of time and motion. I truly could not tellwhether I was moving or whether things werepassing me or I was passing them. For anindeterminate “time” it was as if I were floatingin empty space and soon I realized that I wasn’tbreathing.For a moment I panicked, and tried to grab mywrist to take my pulse, BUT neither my wristnor my pulse were there.BUT everything was so quiet in the endlessvast emptiness. Actually the concept of vast orbig dissolved. I instantaneously realized vastand big were somehow just a projection of themind.The mind attributed or projected ontoemptiness a beginning, an end, space, distance,dimensions and location onto an emptinesswhich was not really empty and did not containthese qualities of mind.Empty or emptiness seemed more like adescription rather then a reality now.Motion seemed motionless; there were nocontrasts.Suddenly, I recalled an old acid trip where Iwas afraid that if I would stop focusing on mybreathing I would stop breathing and die.At some level though I just didn’t care.Maybe I was dead and didn’t know it.42
Page 2 and 3: NotesFromThe DreamCirca 1982-1986Or
Page 4 and 5: DedicationTo NityanandaTo Sri Nisar
Page 6 and 7: “We are such stuff that dreams ar
Page 8: A Historical StoryAbout the TextIn
Page 11 and 12: as well as the extreme difficulty i
Page 13 and 14: The Dream YogaPart IFrom the Six Yo
Page 15 and 16: I felt like what Martin Heidegger h
Page 17 and 18: I had spent my life-time trying to
Page 19 and 20: An “I” which believed wholehear
Page 21 and 22: Deep downI could not believe in the
Page 23 and 24: accepted, and be loved.The problem
Page 25 and 26: The dreamWithinTheDreamIIIThey are
Page 27 and 28: enabling me to feel nothing at all
Page 29 and 30: say what I was feeling without inte
Page 31 and 32: The dreamWithinTheDreamVJacque Derr
Page 33 and 34: self-actualization contained within
Page 35 and 36: I felt like I was in a place over h
Page 37 and 38: The dreamWithinTheDreamVII“Every
Page 39 and 40: uised images that had been created,
Page 41: Lying there facing what I perceived
Page 45 and 46: The dreamWithinTheDreamIXThe Not-I-
Page 47 and 48: ubble enquiring “Who am I?” was
Page 49 and 50: I became aware of the “emptiness
Page 51 and 52: The dreamWithinTheDreamXBuddhism: A
Page 53 and 54: knew exactly what it was supposed t
Page 55 and 56: The dreamWithinTheDreamXIThrough th
Page 57 and 58: ecause as the emptiness there was n
Page 59 and 60: Yet, it was clear that everything w
Page 61 and 62: ackground of the emptiness along wi
Page 63 and 64: Unexpectedly in the distance there
Page 65 and 66: In one Quantum-bubble-realm which a
Page 67: In one bubble the concept of the ob
Page 70 and 71: comes into your awareness, the ques
Page 72 and 73: actually did not exist outside of a
Page 74 and 75: A bubble called what will the futur
Page 76 and 77: I began to just want the bubbles to
Page 78 and 79: A thought arose “Where is your bo
Page 80 and 81: Why?“I” realized that with each
Page 82 and 83: The dreamWithinTheDreamXVIII“Ever
Page 84 and 85: I spent what seemed like years in t
Page 86 and 87: My story was that Spiritual Paths e
Page 88 and 89: As the Not-I-I state looked “back
Page 90 and 91: “Consciousness is emptinessEmptin
Page 92 and 93:
(whatever THAT was).In this way wit
Page 94 and 95:
The dreamWithinTheDreamXIXTHE HEART
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Next:appreciate that “your heart
Page 98 and 99:
The second chakra is about four fin
Page 100 and 101:
You might even hear a clap of light
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were like rays of the sun getting m
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And, that each bubble universe I en
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She continued, “Feel your body ag
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Meditate: Visualize the elements (a
Page 110 and 111:
The dreamWithinTheDreamXXIIIThe Voi
Page 112 and 113:
Consciousness is the basic substanc
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He continued reading and then speak
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meditation bubble-realm. Remaining
Page 118 and 119:
ubble-realms that arose and subside
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etween state the Buddhists called t
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Then:The explicate perceivable worl
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more aware of.Soon I was drawn into
Page 126 and 127:
the ocean, like closing the eyelids
Page 128 and 129:
space in an attempt to get to their
Page 130 and 131:
The dreamWithinTheDreamXXVIThe I am
Page 132 and 133:
space, mass, and time of the explic
Page 134 and 135:
and associations and our feeling of
Page 136 and 137:
I began to wonder, what am I missin
Page 138 and 139:
The dreamWithinTheDreamXXVIII“Eve
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The dreamWithinTheDreamXXIXDristi S
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which appeared gave the illusion of
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Awareness as the lens or veil can b
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Through the lens of awareness the e
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The dreamWithinTheDreamXXI“There
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Surround the cremated body with “
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this Bohm called the explicate orde
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The “perceived” concept called
Page 156 and 157:
The Eight Negations of NagarjunaThe
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The Emptiness Bubble:The emptiness
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It was a “light” that lie betwe
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“Everything has Buddha nature.”
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nucleus then there was between the
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Waking DreamsIIIShiva Sutras: “Th
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Waking DreamsIVThe Vijnana Bhairava
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Waking DreamsVThe Shiva SutrasConte
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Once again the “I” label vanish
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There is no witness and there is no
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Waking DreamsVIIIWithout eyesWithou
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Emptiness means withoutNirvana is w
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the voidness of voidthe nonexistent
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This accounts for the germination o
Page 184 and 185:
Waking DreamsXThe “I” label dis
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(nature), which too was nonexistent
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The “I” was an illusion!Even if
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What’s left is not even the aware
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Waking DreamsXIIThe Not-I-I state a
Page 194 and 195:
Waking DreamsXIIIThe enfolding and
Page 196 and 197:
Waking DreamsXIV“Nothing is.” N
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See the dream as consciousnessSee t
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The perceiver or knower of the void
Page 202:
THE ENDOf THE NON-LINEARTHE STORY20
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Notes from the Dream (circa 1982-1986) - Stephen H. Wolinsky Ph. D.

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