Notes from the Dream (circa 1982-1986) - Stephen H. Wolinsky Ph. D.

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The dreamWithinTheDreamIVIn the land of therapy, pain was now mycompanion and my motivator. As a client Ifollowed the traditional path of psychology.I had the garden variety pain of rejection bymy mother, the fear of losing her love. Myfather’s rejection and lack of warmth andunderstanding, and the double binding messageof - —-I love you, if …The tears turned into years, and theemotional pain released as the images andwalls I had erected of myself to hide the painlost their power and began to crumble. Goingdaily to therapy from group to workshopa new sense of power emerged as hugeamounts of energy began to be released andI was becoming more whole at the level ofpersonality. This was called at the time selfactualization.I could feel what I was feeling,27
say what I was feeling without interruption andsay what I wanted.As my story continued to unravel the paindiminished and I felt empowered. Theinternalized observer which was mindful ofand witnessed my thoughts, feelings, emotions,and others’ actions and reactions grew stronger.At this point I still had not realized that theobserver was still fused with an internalizedparent and had became more spiritualized asthe inner emptiness had become more tolerable.Still there was little discussion of thisobserving presence, except as to “spiritualize”it has some “higher” state, and so, I was left tojust guess its significance.Meditation seemed the likely vehicle and thewitness/observer could watch and remainmindful of the personality as now I wouldwatch different parts of “myself” arise andsubside.The problem was that since I unknowinglyhad fused the observer with an internalizedparent, the observer had a point of view, anopinion about what was right or wrong, (ofcourse it was spiritualized) high or low, goodor bad, and of course what was spiritual ornot. This included what was good or badthoughts feelings, emotions, associations and28
Page 2 and 3: NotesFromThe DreamCirca 1982-1986Or
Page 4 and 5: DedicationTo NityanandaTo Sri Nisar
Page 6 and 7: “We are such stuff that dreams ar
Page 8: A Historical StoryAbout the TextIn
Page 11 and 12: as well as the extreme difficulty i
Page 13 and 14: The Dream YogaPart IFrom the Six Yo
Page 15 and 16: I felt like what Martin Heidegger h
Page 17 and 18: I had spent my life-time trying to
Page 19 and 20: An “I” which believed wholehear
Page 21 and 22: Deep downI could not believe in the
Page 23 and 24: accepted, and be loved.The problem
Page 25 and 26: The dreamWithinTheDreamIIIThey are
Page 27: enabling me to feel nothing at all
Page 31 and 32: The dreamWithinTheDreamVJacque Derr
Page 33 and 34: self-actualization contained within
Page 35 and 36: I felt like I was in a place over h
Page 37 and 38: The dreamWithinTheDreamVII“Every
Page 39 and 40: uised images that had been created,
Page 41 and 42: Lying there facing what I perceived
Page 43 and 44: of time and motion. I truly could n
Page 45 and 46: The dreamWithinTheDreamIXThe Not-I-
Page 47 and 48: ubble enquiring “Who am I?” was
Page 49 and 50: I became aware of the “emptiness
Page 51 and 52: The dreamWithinTheDreamXBuddhism: A
Page 53 and 54: knew exactly what it was supposed t
Page 55 and 56: The dreamWithinTheDreamXIThrough th
Page 57 and 58: ecause as the emptiness there was n
Page 59 and 60: Yet, it was clear that everything w
Page 61 and 62: ackground of the emptiness along wi
Page 63 and 64: Unexpectedly in the distance there
Page 65 and 66: In one Quantum-bubble-realm which a
Page 67: In one bubble the concept of the ob
Page 70 and 71: comes into your awareness, the ques
Page 72 and 73: actually did not exist outside of a
Page 74 and 75: A bubble called what will the futur
Page 76 and 77: I began to just want the bubbles to
Page 78 and 79:
A thought arose “Where is your bo
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Why?“I” realized that with each
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The dreamWithinTheDreamXVIII“Ever
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I spent what seemed like years in t
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My story was that Spiritual Paths e
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As the Not-I-I state looked “back
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“Consciousness is emptinessEmptin
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(whatever THAT was).In this way wit
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The dreamWithinTheDreamXIXTHE HEART
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Next:appreciate that “your heart
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The second chakra is about four fin
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You might even hear a clap of light
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were like rays of the sun getting m
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And, that each bubble universe I en
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She continued, “Feel your body ag
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Meditate: Visualize the elements (a
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The dreamWithinTheDreamXXIIIThe Voi
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Consciousness is the basic substanc
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He continued reading and then speak
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meditation bubble-realm. Remaining
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ubble-realms that arose and subside
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etween state the Buddhists called t
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Then:The explicate perceivable worl
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more aware of.Soon I was drawn into
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the ocean, like closing the eyelids
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space in an attempt to get to their
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The dreamWithinTheDreamXXVIThe I am
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space, mass, and time of the explic
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and associations and our feeling of
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I began to wonder, what am I missin
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The dreamWithinTheDreamXXVIII“Eve
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The dreamWithinTheDreamXXIXDristi S
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which appeared gave the illusion of
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Awareness as the lens or veil can b
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Through the lens of awareness the e
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The dreamWithinTheDreamXXI“There
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Surround the cremated body with “
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this Bohm called the explicate orde
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The “perceived” concept called
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The Eight Negations of NagarjunaThe
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The Emptiness Bubble:The emptiness
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It was a “light” that lie betwe
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“Everything has Buddha nature.”
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nucleus then there was between the
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Waking DreamsIIIShiva Sutras: “Th
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Waking DreamsIVThe Vijnana Bhairava
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Waking DreamsVThe Shiva SutrasConte
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Once again the “I” label vanish
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There is no witness and there is no
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Waking DreamsVIIIWithout eyesWithou
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Emptiness means withoutNirvana is w
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the voidness of voidthe nonexistent
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This accounts for the germination o
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Waking DreamsXThe “I” label dis
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(nature), which too was nonexistent
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The “I” was an illusion!Even if
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What’s left is not even the aware
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Waking DreamsXIIThe Not-I-I state a
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Waking DreamsXIIIThe enfolding and
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Waking DreamsXIV“Nothing is.” N
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See the dream as consciousnessSee t
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The perceiver or knower of the void
Page 202:
THE ENDOf THE NON-LINEARTHE STORY20
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Notes from the Dream (circa 1982-1986) - Stephen H. Wolinsky Ph. D.

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