TUZLU SU SALTWATER
14B_Catalogue
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130 Comte de Lautréamont<br />
Antoloji / Anthology<br />
131<br />
karşısında attığım çığlıklar hiç etkilemiyordu onları. Sel gibi akan kanıma gülüyorlardı. Ey<br />
benim kardeşim, bağışlıyorum çektiğim bütün acıların baş nedeni olan seni! Belki de bu<br />
kör öfke artık açabilir gözlerini. Çok düşündüm sonsuz zindanımda. İnsanlığa karşı kinimin<br />
nasıl oluştuğunu kestirebilirsin. Yavaş yavaş artan çöküş, gövdenin ve ruhun yalnızlığı aklımı<br />
başımdan almamıştı henüz, hâlâ sevmeyi sürdürdüklerime, tutsağı olduğum o üçlü demir<br />
laleye hınç duyacak kadar. Kurnazlık sayesinde özgürlüğüme tekrar kavuştum. Kendilerine<br />
benzeşlerimin adını vermelerine karşın, hiçbir bakımdan bana benzemeyen (kendilerine<br />
benzediğimi sanıyorlarsa, niçin zarar veriyorlardı bana?) bu anakara insanlarından usanmış<br />
ve zorunlu olarak yaşanmış bir hayatın anılarını belki deniz bana armağan eder diye<br />
kendimi öldürmeye kesinlikle karar vermiş durumda, kıyının çakıl taşlarına yöneldim. Kendi<br />
gözlerine inanacak mısın? Baba evinden kaçtığım günden bu yana, denizde ve onun billur<br />
mağaralarında yaşamaktan, senin düşündüğün kadar yakınmıyorum. Senin de gördüğün<br />
gibi kısmen bir kuğu vücudu verdi bana Tanrı. Balıklarla barış içinde yaşıyorum ve sanki<br />
kendilerinin hükümdarıymışım gibi, gereksinimim olan besini sağlıyorlar bana. Seni kızdırmazsa,<br />
özel bir ıslık çalacağım, nasıl ortaya çıktıklarını göreceksin.”<br />
Söylediği gibi oldu. Uyruklarının alayıyla sarılı durumda, eşsiz yüzüşüyle uzaklaştı. Ve, birkaç<br />
saniye geçmesine karşın, gözden tamamen uzaklaştı, bir tek dürbün sayesinde, ufkun<br />
son sınırlarında gene görebildim onu. Bir eliyle yüzüyor ve ötekiyle, ana karaya yaklaşmış<br />
olmanın gözlerine doldurduğu kanı siliyordu. Beni sevindirmek için böyle davranmıştı. Dik<br />
bayıra diklemesine fırlattım gösterici aracı, kayadan kayaya sıçradı ve dağılan parçalarını<br />
dalgalar yuttu. Bu son gösteri ve son veda ile bir düşteymiş gibi, bir soylu ve mutsuz zekâ<br />
karşısında saygıyla eğildim! Bununla birlikte, her şey gerçekten olmuş gibiydi, bu yaz gecesi.<br />
Les Chants de Maldoror (1868)<br />
Seçen Deniz Gül Çeviren Özdemir İnce<br />
‘I shall conceal from you the place of my birth, which has no bearing on my story: but the shame<br />
reflected upon my family has bearing on my duty. My father and mother (may God forgive them!)<br />
after a year of waiting saw Heaven grant their prayers: twins, my brother and I, were born. All the<br />
more reason for love between us. But this was not so. Because I was the handsomer of the two<br />
and the more intelligent, my brother hated me and made no attempt to conceal his feelings. Consequently<br />
my mother and father lavished most of their love on me, while through my sincere and<br />
constant friendship I tried to appease a soul that had no right to revolt against him who had come<br />
from the same womb. My brother’s fury knew no limits, and he so slandered me with the most unbelievable<br />
calumnies that the hearts of our mutual parents were closed to me. For fifteen years I lived<br />
in a dungeon with maggots and slimy water for food. I will not relate to you in detail the unheard-of<br />
tortures I endured during that long and unjust sequestration. Now and then during the day one of<br />
the three torturers whose turn it was would enter abruptly, armed with pincers, tongs and various<br />
other instruments of torture. The shrieks elicited from me by these torments left them unmoved; the<br />
abundant loss of blood made them smile. O, my brother, I have forgiven you – you, the primary cause<br />
of all my ills! It must be that blind rage finally opens its own eyes. I made many reflections during my<br />
everlasting imprisonment. How my hatred developed towards all humanity in general you can well<br />
imagine. Progressive etiolation, solitude of body and soul, had not yet caused me to lose my mind<br />
completely, to the point of bearing any resentment against those whom I had never ceased to love:<br />
triple pillory of which I was the slave. I succeeded by cunning in gaining my liberty! Disgusted by the<br />
inhabitants of dry land, who, although they called themselves my fellow men, appeared hitherto to<br />
resemble me in nothing (if they found that I did resemble them, why did they harm me?), I made my<br />
way to the pebbly beach, firmly resolved to give myself to death if the sea were to offer me memories<br />
of a life fatally lived. Do you believe your own eyes? Since the day I fled the paternal roof I have been<br />
as unhappy as you think, inhabiting the sea and its crystal grottoes. Providence, as you see, has<br />
given me in part the structure of a swan. I live in peace with the fish and they procure for me the<br />
nourishment I need as if I were their ruler. I will give a special whistle, if it will not annoy you, and you<br />
will see how they will reappear.’<br />
It happened as he had predicted. He resumed his royal swimming surrounded by his retinue of subjects.<br />
And, although at the end of a few seconds, he had completely disappeared from sight, with<br />
a telescope I could still distinguish him on the distant horizon. He swam with one hand, while with<br />
the other wiped his eyes which the terrible strain of approaching terra firma had injected with blood.<br />
He had acted in this manner to do me pleasure. I flung the revealing instrument against the steep<br />
escarpment: it bounded from rock to rock and the waves received its scattered fragments: such<br />
was the last demonstration and supreme farewell by which I made obeisance, as in a dream, before<br />
a noble and unfortunate intelligence! Yet everything that happened was real, that summer night.<br />
Emily Dickinson<br />
Selected by Deniz Gül Translated by Guy Wernham<br />
Kabaca Bir Hediye ve Engellenmiş Sözlerle (1883)<br />
Kabaca bir hediye ve engellenmiş Sözlerle<br />
Anlatılır insan kalbine<br />
Hiç —<br />
“Hiç”tir Dünyayı<br />
Yenileyen Güç —<br />
By homely gift and hindered Words (1883)<br />
By homely gift and hindered Words<br />
The human heart is told<br />
Of Nothing —<br />
‘Nothing’ is the force<br />
That renovates the World —<br />
Seçen Ania Soliman Çeviren Selahattin Özpalabıyıklar<br />
Selected by Ania Soliman