A Pragmatic Guide To Communication & Change.pdf - NLP Info Centre

Response: "What are you feeling bad about?"
Speaker: "She is really hard on me." Response: "How is she hard on
you?"
Speaker: "He could demonstrate some concern."
Response: "How would you like him to demonstrate concern'?"
Phis is a good example of an often used unspecified verb, "hurt." Again we are faced
with the choice of "going inside" and creating the missing information, or we can simply
ask
Unspecified Verb
Sometimes the speaker's response to your request for more information will indicate
rules within his model of the world (see "Individual Constraints," Chapter I). In the last
example above, the speaker might respond to the question, "How would you like him to
demonstrate concern'?" with, "He could answer more quickly." This rule, "demonstrating
concern answering quickly" could have special importance in understanding the
communication process of this person in certain situations.
]'his Mcta Model violation, unspecified verbs, is particularly common to individuals
operating out of the kinesthetic category. They know what they mean by predicates like
"hurt," "feels good/bad," "deeply moved," "entangled," etc., and they lend to assume that
everyone else knows what they mean. Sioce this can lead to confusion and
misunderstandtng, it in often important to challenge this violation.
SS
Certain individuals, especially in stressful situations, tend to dissociate from somatic
sensations. It is as if they become so uncomfortable physically that they cope by removing
from their conscious awareness the source of the unpleasant feelings: their bodies.
Though "visuals" tend to dissociate from kinesthetic experience, it is also particularly
common of "digitats." They often sound and look very removed from their bodies, their
voices and movements so unanimated as to be almost robot-like. This shying away from
overly expressive tonality and gestures is similar to the internal experience associated
with nominalizations as opposed to the deep structure associated with verb forms. For
this reason, "digitats" are said to have "nominalized" their bodies.
accepted medical model, he states:
Remember, I called all diseases "beha. viors," in other words, things that
people do.... When I found a patient with elevated blood pressure (140/90
mm/Hg or more), I said to myself not "He has hypertension" but "He is
hypertensioning."
This transformation of the nominalization "hypertension," the name given to a
specific set of medical conditions, back into a verb or process of
"hypertensioning" not only altered Dr. Ellerbroek's perception of his patients but
also his behaviors toward them. This, says Dr. Ellerbroek, changed his patients'
responses to treatment in a dramatically positive way.
The implication is that as we begin to alter our language, as in the above
example, we change our perceptions of the processes of health and disease.
Ultimately, this gives us more choices about our physical and emotional
conditions.
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