A Pragmatic Guide To Communication & Change.pdf - NLP Info Centre

was the process of generalization which is important to our
ability to learn a great complexity of information and new behaviors. However,
generalizations may also become a source of pain for an individual by limiting both
behavior and percep- a
'ENfPA s
IZAilONS
lion in nonproductive ways. ~ Asfno The meta principles of communication and
change
presented in this handbook are based on generalizations - behavioral patterns within an
individual's sphere of activity as well as consistencies of interaction between members of
a society. But these are only generalizations; they are only models of behavior.
19
It is important to remember a point road, earlier: Everyone has a different map
or model of reality. We are all different. What is presented on the following
pages are generalizations about. people that are only useful when they assist its
in more efficient and effective communication. Be teary of the potential to
become limited by these same generalizations. It is better to trust what You see,
hear, and feel than to rely on a highly generalized model of behavior.
Remember: If the model doesn't fit, don't use it.
Based in part on the work of family therapist Virginia Satir" and the human behavior
modelers Bundler and Grinder,- I have consolidated into a model four basic
cotnrnunlcation categories. This model is organized around the tour preferred
representational systems. These are the visual system, the kinesthetic system, the
auditory tonal system, and the digital system.
'there is an efficient shorthand that will be used throughout this book to identify each of
the communication categories. Because the model is organized around the four
representational systems, the following labels will be used. A person demonstrating
characterisites associated with the visual communication category will be called a
"visual." One who is operating within the kinesthmtic modality will be called a "kino."
Someone exhibiting behaviors associated with the auditory system will be called it
"tonal," and e person operating out ut the digital system will be called a "digil:,l "
These labels can be used in two ways. One way is to describe an individual who
habitually represents experience with one of the systems more often than the others. The
other way is to describe how an individual is representing his experience in a particular
situation. In this case, the label identifies the dominant mode of behavior in that particular
situation. In the illustration on page 44, for example, we could say that the man is being a
"kino," and the woman is being a "visual."
46
The sooner you begin to match the client's predicates, to speak his own language, the
more rapidly therapy can progress. This is true in any situation where a close relationship
is being fostered, whether you are a therapist, a teacher, or an office manager. The ability
to adapt your own language to the predicates of others is as important in a close intimate
relationship like a family as it is in situations where people must work together. The
following illustration
demonstrates what sometimes happens when two people who come together in the work
environment speak two different "languages."
The result of changing your language to match the person you are talking with is two-