A Pragmatic Guide To Communication & Change.pdf - NLP Info Centre

world of phenomena the relations that we have learned to observe among the parts
of speech; we interpret what is happening in terms of the logic of cause-effect that
is embedded in our grammar.
Analog-Digital: The Computer Metaphor
There are two kinds of computers in common usage today. A digital computer,
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limits were built in to his model. With this information, you are not only able to pace his
experience (gain/maintain rapport), you are also able to lead him in changing his
perceptions and behaviors that are limiting and painful. This can be done verbally as well
as nonverbally by utilizing all the analog systems of body posture, breathing, voice
tonality, etc. The example which follows will demonstrate some of these techniques.
A highly visual person has come in for an initial interview. You know this from a
combination of body posturing, build, lip size, clothing, predicate usage and other cues.
You already know that one of his rules for communicating is that it is necessary to look in
order to understand what another person is saying. If you were to turn away or listen by
diverting your head as many people do, he might accuse you of not paying attention. This
poor pace could be compounded further if you placed yourself too close and "invaded his
space." Remember that visually oriented people are generally more comfortable when
they can see you from a distance in order to get "the whole perspective."
By accepting this person's rules, by matching his predicates, in essence, by operating out
of his model of the world, you begin to pave the road for a successful relationship. You
can mirror various aspects of this person's communication category by matching your
body posture, tonality, predicates, and by obeying the rules associated with that system.
This will sometimes enable you to detect areas of pain and limits to this person's
perception that would otherwise have remained hidden from you. At the same time you
demon strate "acceptance" by mirroring, you provide the person with the opportunity to
see, hear, and feel himself in ways which are usually outside of his conscious awareness.
As long as the rapport is maintained, you can utilize this subtle form of feedback. For
example, you can lead the person to a more comfortable or functional place by simply
modeling those changes in yourself. By changing his "reflection" in this way, the person
has the opportunity to actually experience new choices at a deep, unconscious level, to
"try them on" so to speak. As long as you are open to subtly changes in the person you
are working with, you can
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immediately tell whether or not the changes are appropriate for him.
These are just a few of the ways in which this information can be utilized. As you learn
and experience the subtle patterns of communication covered in this book, you may find
yourself generating more and more innovative applications in many different situations.
A complete chart of all the behavioral characteristics associated with each of the
communication categories is given in Appendix C.
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Where's the TV Guide?"
Satir points out that there is often a difference between what the person's body appears