A Pragmatic Guide To Communication & Change.pdf - NLP Info Centre

Watzlawick, et al., Pragmatics of Human Communication
In dealing with communication, it is important to note the distinction made by
Walzlawick, that all behavior is communication. There are actually two kinds of
communicative behavior. One encompasses observable patterns of interaction, primarily
speech and overt gestures. The other is less obvious communication that goes on inside
each of us all the time. All communication, whether overtly exhibited or internally
experienced, affects us in observable ways. It is the observation and utilization of specific
communicative behaviors that make up the major theme of this book.
Once we begin to explore the ways we make sense of the myriad experiences we call
"living," many behavioral patterns become evident. Grinder and Bundler's "human
modeling processes" afford us an organizational basis from which to explore differences
between what people experience (the territory) and how they make sense of those
experiences (their map or model of the world).
Supported by evidence from neurological studies, we extend this model-building
behavior to include three constraints: neurological, social, and individual. By under
standing that these mechanisms are important in the creating of an individual's model and
in that person's representation of "who" he is, we begin the first step in gaining the
rapport and trust so important to influential and therapeutic communications.
Recognizing that each person creates a different model of the world enables us to cherish
rather than judge or fear those differences. It is those differences that make each of us
unique and create the amazing and wonderful diversity of personality we encounter
within and between societies.
We share a universal linguistic convention: understanding
I do not attempt to define what a human being is, I describe what a human being does. (p.
30) Bois, The Art of Au areness
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in the 4-tuple. For simplicity, the model below shows a complete set of synthesized
experiences riding atop the external 4-tuple.
As we shall see in later chapters, people can systematically delete one particular
element from their 4-tuples. The ability of a therapist to detect and utilize this kind of
information when working with an individual can greatly expedite the process of
therapeutic growth and change. The example on page 123 demonstrates how this
information can be effectively used.
As the figure shows, the 4-tuples are finally collected in the Memory Box. The
repository for all experiences, it represents our personal history, our composite model
of the world. This collection of experiences does much to shape our thinking and our
perception of the world around us. Information for synthetic experiences in this
simplistic diagram comes from the Memory Box through the Memory Tube. Again, this
information can be in the form of a complete internally generated 4-tuple, or it can be
single elements from the various stored 4-tuples which "replace" one or more of the
pieces of external origins.
A complete diagram showing all three processes is presented in Appendix A.
Figure I - 3
2,
When we communicate with people, when we are successful in creating therapeutic
changes, or in teaching something new, we always begin at the neurological level with
the sound of our voices and the look and feel of our actions. When intervention ocurs at